Rant 084 / Also Sprach Senor Hybrido

I'm listening to the Amélie OST while typing this. I found one of the tracks in a Flash animation in www.newgrounds.com( more specifically, I later found out the track was La Valse d'Amélie, or The Waltz of Amélie). Somehow I was enchanted by the tune, and I had to listen to it again and again.

I find that I'm listening to the less popular genres these days, not pop, not rap, not rock, but instrumental(?) or classical. I got a copy of a compilation of Also Sprach Zarathustra by Richard Strauss, after I found out about its existence while reading on Xenosaga Episode III on Wikipedia, which is also titled Also Sprach Zarathustra. The English translation of this German title is "Thus Spoke Zarasthustra". There is a book of the same name too, written by German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. It is best known by its declaration of "God is dead!"

It was when I listened to the first piece in Also Sprach Zarathustra that I found that extremely familiar tune they play in some old movies, a tune I don't know how to describe, is the Introduction piece.

Another compilation of such music I listen to is the game music of Europa Universalis III, composed by Andreas Waldetoft. I like most of the war music, and pieces like The Road to Jerusalem.

What all these music have in common is that the climax starts later than most of the popular music people listen to these days. The climax in those composed by Andreas Waldetoft usually starts in the later half of the whole piece. Slow music.





My first try as the Table Topics Master was a success. I actually got praises instead of mere thanks for my helping out. Whoa! I didn't expect to get any of that with the little effort I put in. Even the topics were not original - I just arranged the 7 Deadly Sins in random order. My efforts were put into finding 7 interesting pictures, one for each, and putting them together into a Powerpoint show.

That wasn't hard either, since I keep a collection of weird pictures from when I surf the Internet, where there is an infinite supply of them. I just scan through my collection while keeping the 7 sins in mind and pick those that relate to them.

It was hilarious to me though, the reactions of the speakers to a few of the pictures. For example, in Gluttony I picked...


The speaker was stunned. She tried to speak on Gluttony, but kept thinking about the picture. In the end she said, "What a horrible picture! Animals have rights, you know?" It took some effort to keep myself from exploding. ROFLMAOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! As a result of this, she almost could not hit the 1-minute mark. I'm not sorry; if she hates me for that, the hilarity was worth it. :D

But they said it was refreshing, my usage of the 7 Deadly Sins, compared to the usual topics like "If you can destroy one thing in the world right now, what would it be?"

And some liked my having the pictures explain the topics, since most Table Topics Masters pick pictures that don't link with the topics, which can be good for the speaker as it gives them a choice of 2 topics whatever they choose. Mine give some hints, not variety.

But the slides were not flashy, nor fancy. There were the pictures, and the titles( topics), and these were all there was in the slides.

In the end, no one cared about the quality of the slides.






Man, playing Europa Universalis III really changed my view of the world. Reading the changes of country borders and country names is different from seeing these changes! As I scrolled through the years while choosing which year I wanted to start the game in, between the years just before Christopher Columbus set sail for the Americas, to the year the French Revolution began.

In short, it was a revelation.

It was a stunning sight. An example is the Ming Dynasty. It was all Ming, Ming, Ming, Ming and then, poof, Manchuria. The giant patch of orange symbolizing the Ming for so many years suddenly just turned brown, which is the ingame colour of Manchuria. It made me realize how fluid borders can be. Or one can watch Europe during this period, and see how countries change like the spouses of Hollywood stars. One moment, Venice existed as an independent state, the next moment it was a province of one country or another.

Together with my meagle knowledge of Belgian politics, I find Singapore's future a dim one. In Belgium, about half its population believe their country will not remain sovereign within the next 50 years. It is a relatively new country, like Singapore, and was created by its bordering nations as a buffer state. The people feels that a national identity is lacking, and I don't blame them - all the countries around them have been existing for a long, long time, especially France, which has been around since the collapse of the Western Roman Empire, which was before the rise of the Holy Roman Empire.

I'd say that Singapore is luckier, since everyone around us haven't really been sovereign states till recently. Most of them were, once upon a time, but in recent history, few have been. Penang was a prosperous sultanate once upon a time. Java had its own kingdoms before. There were so many tiny kingdoms all around us, yet none survived the onslaught of European colonization.

As the watched the little patches swallowed up by the bigger kingdoms in the Indian sub-continent, I tried to imagine how the people in those tiny bits of land felt. One day they were a people of one kingdom, the next day there were ruled by a foreign king, for the rest of their lives. Then I imagine the same with Singapore. According to world history, this is very possible. It doesn't matter whether a nation is big or small; none is permanent. A sad fact, but a fact nonetheless.

Just think about the Ottoman Empire. It fought in WWI. It vanished in the years between WWI and WWII, yet few people of my generation knows about it. It has only been a mere century, and such a great nation is not even remembered! What would Singapore become?

And since we're surround by huge countries, this may seem inevitable. I can compare it with France 600 years ago. France, back then, was not a whole patch of land as it is now, but a loop surrounding several nations. Eventually, they were annexed into France. How long before Belgium is annexed, with the need for a buffer state becoming less important these days? How long before Singapore is annexed into another country? Perhaps not so long as we remain prosperous, richer than our neighbours. But once this stops becoming true, our sovereignty will be at the mercy of the wealthier neighbours. I believe the wealth of Singapore is the only thing that keeps the nation independent, instead of a mere province, therefore running Singapore like a giant corporation is not wrong.

Of course, an alternative would be to conquer other lands, but this is basically a diplomatic suicide, and culminates to an economic suicide.

Europe is on its way to becoming one whole nation now. Citizens in many European countries do not need their passports when travelling to most of the other European countries. Visitors need only one Visa for visiting anywhere within this zone. This is so convenient, but will it set a trend for the rest of the world? It's not hard to see, since the UAE seems like quite a success. And so is Malaysia. Maybe someday Singapore will willingly form an union with its neighbours to form a whole nation of SE Asia.






The recent issue of National Geographic magazine is somewhat disturbing. The article on Bethlehem paints a very tragic picture on what is one of the holiest spots of this world. Bethlehem, the birthplace of Yeshua, should be the holiest place of Christianity, yet it is being gradually abandoned by them. Right now, Christians are a minority in that city, with Muslims being the majority. It is a very chaotic city, in a very chaotic region of the world. Jews and Muslims fight each other for a place in their beloved land. Jews believe that God gave them this land. Muslims have been living there for many generations, and see this as their home, and the Jews are the invaders. Christians are the punching bag for both sides, even though some have been there since the time of Christ. One family interviewed by the journalist has roots that lead all the way back to the time before Jesus was crucified, and their ancestors were even mentioned in Old Testament! Yet now they are considering leaving this land for good, the first time this is happening in 2000 years.

How incredibly tragic this is! Yet no one gives a damn. They continue fighting, turning what could have been a beautiful place, a holy land, into a blood-soaked no man's land. The Church of the Nativity, instead of looking as grand as it should be as the first church of Christianity, appears more like fortress than a church, and seems to be designed with durability in mind, not beauty. I had always expected it too look... epic, I guess, but the picture of it in the magazine ruined my impression of it.









Xenosaga Episode III provided answers to most of the questions of the previous 2 episodes, but its ending is not satisfying at all. It contains so many references to Christianity too! Spoilers incoming! chaos is really Yeshua, or Jesus as known by most people. The soul within KOSMOS is really Mary Magdelene! UDO is God, and Wilhelm has been trying to stop God's influence in the Universe through his one giant plot that spanned millennias. Another sad fact. It had such a great concept but such poor execution. Did they think all gamers wanted was graphics? If they had spent more time on gameplay in the first two episodes, and hired good voice actors, the series wouldn't have failed as badly as it did. What was supposed to be at least 4 episodes long is now a trilogy, with a really open end.

But the scene after defeating Virgil was really touching. As touching as some parts of Eureka Seven.









Yuuri Morishita may be the closest thing to perfect feminine beauty. She's so gorgeous, she's probably a fake, as in she's probably had quite a few cosmetic surgeries. Only 2 things mar her almost perfection - her eye bags and the shape of her head. She needs to use her hair to cover the both sides of her face to look good, and even makeup cannot cover completely her eye bags. Other than that, she's as close to a goddess as I believe possible. And because she's drop-dead gorgeous, she doesn't do nudes! That gives her some class. I've watched several of her gravure videos, and her smile is so sweet she can give men diabetes. And she's my age too! Holy shit!

Arisa Oda is the goddess of beauty. Or at least as gorgeous as one. She's probably not human. LOL! By the way, they don't do porn - they're gravure idols, or in a way, poster girls.
















Also Sprach Senor Hybrido

Rant 083 / Sex Is Just Like Respect - It Is Earned, Not Demanded

Whoever thought someone would be concerned that this blog might die? This, together with Windows Messenger, is my personal entertainment when I'm not gaming. Gaming is to me as TV is to most other people my age, I think. And blogging is just something to fill the time slot between gaming and sleeping. I type better when I'm a little tired.

Some say that speaking in a poetic way in normal conversations is a symptom of some kind of mental illness, or basically something is wrong in the head. Speaking in such a way indicates that the person's unable to use or remember words they normally use, thus this person has to find alternatives. Beware, poets! And old people!

I see a link between the two paragraphs above. When I'm tired, I'm unable to find the words to say. At times, I stutter, which, basically, is the same thing. Therefore, fatigue screws my brain up temporarily( I hope), and I type in a more poetic way, utilising words of considerable lengths to create this effect of making my lines appear dramatically more impressive.

It's either this, or I don't care what I type when I'm shagged.









After learning to make perfect crispy bacons and sunny-side ups, I decided not to neglect my Chinese heritage and went on to find Dim Sum recipes.

Subject/Link to recipe: 鲜竹牛肉
Grade: Fail
Comments: GG, nub


This is the first one I tried, and the results are as described. What was supposed to be perfectly steamed beef balls with a smooth texture turned out to be minced beef in oyster sauce sitting in fragile balls. I followed the recipe dutifully, even frying the beancurd skin, which doesn't seem necessary since it doesn't make much difference in the taste of the beef!

Well, I did change the recipe lol! I didn't have tangerine skins at home, and I didn't want to buy a whole packet just for one piece of it, so I skipped that. I didn't have water chestnut powder at home, nor cornstarch, so I substituted with potato starch. I think this last change made all the difference.

But I still don't understand how the oyster sauce's flavour can be so obvious! I'm not supposed to taste anything but the beef, as I remember it! And all 6 websites I checked display almost the same list of ingredients. I don't see why oyster sauce should be used at all, since I don't remember tasting oyster sauce when I last ate it in Hong Kong. Does the water chestnut powder make such a huge difference in flavour too?

Anyway 鲜竹牛肉 is not sold in Singaporean restaurants, which made me want to try it first.







Right now I'm folding boxes for Christmas gifts. These will be given out when I go to CZY's tomorrow. I'm estimating 9 people, but some may not come, like Ivan and XL who are undecided. Too bad for them. I prepared one even for CZY's sister. Btw, I won't be surprised if I find out that her favourite brand is Prada. Frigging she-devil who throws stones at my groin! But still, I'm a nice person. At times.

I have no experience in wrapping gifts, so I decided to fold boxes with magazine paper for all of them. These boxes are in different shapes and sizes, regardless of what they're containing. I can almost see their surprise when they realize what each of them is getting.








The Witcher is a pretty nice game. It's like NWN, an DnD style RPG in which you can pause at any time. But it's only for single player, allows only one playable character - the Witcher, and only 1 style - WITCHER STYLE!

This game is a horror-themed RPG focusing on the adventures of Geralt of Rivia, a warrior who has undergone special training and a mutation through alchemy, and lives to kill monsters that roam the nameless medieval world in the game. Such people, or, as some call them, mutants are known as Witchers. The game starts with a stunning CG clip of a fight between him and a striga, a monster which is really a woman under a curse. I'm amazed that they would put so much effort in a mere trailer that plays when you start the game.

The trailer is really a prologue that happened some years before the game's story. In the game, Geralt lost his memory prior to the game's plot, and was found by fellow Witchers. They brought him to a ruined fortress where some of the last Witchers in the world still lived. One day soon after he recovered, they were attacked by a mob accompanied by an unknown sorcerer, a notorious serial killer and a summoned monster.

Eventually the sorcerer and his hired killer got what they wanted in their alchemist lab and left, but not before killing their one and only apprentice Witcher. Of course they were pissed, and thus they split up in the four directions to gather information of the powerful sorcerer, and kill him.

Thus begins a game of seriously creepy music, monsters that pop out suddenly, gorgeous women who want to get laid, and an intriguing plot.

Bad points:

The isometric camera, similar to the one used in NWN2, pisses me off sometimes, since it works horribly when there are tall buildings to trees. Instead of making the trees translucent when they block the camera, the camera is raised to a higher level on the tree while maintaining the distance between the character and the camera. So if you're standing next to a tall tree while rotating your camera, one moment your looking from his back, the next moment you're getting a bird's eye view of the scene. WTF!

The loading is slow. It can take half a minute to exit a building into town. The saving is slow. It takes 10s to save.


Good:

The monsters are not scary since they always look so small when I use isometric camera instead of the other 2 camera choices. But the music and environmental sound effects makes all the difference. A headphone really helps.

There is no sex scene but you can get a nude portrait of each of the ladies you manage to have sex with. There are always a few in every chapter. All the pictures are more tastefully done, not lewd like most porn, and look nice except for the one with the vampiress. Vampiress is how they say it in the game. So far I've seen only one lady appearing nude in the game, but she's a dryad and is all green from head to toe, with leaves and vines around her body.

You can fool around with alchemical recipes to make new potions, blade coatings and bombs. Keeps it interesting.

The graphics are nice, but my laptop can only handle the low settings. When I first tried the highest setting, the graphics appear quite screwed up. Parts of everything appear bright teal, probably because my video card is unable to produce the textures for these surfaces.






This game has a Mature rating in Europe, and is partially censored in the US. Cited reasons include nudity, language and violence( there's a move in which Geralt slices his opponent's head off, and since you can zoom in with the right camera choice, it makes for quite a fascinating sight).






And when I mention "tastefully done" in regards to the nude pictures, I hope I'm not misunderstood. An example of a very lewd picture can be a young woman posing nude, sitting down on the floor and her legs wide apart. One hand is between her legs and speading her labia. And not to mention with that slutty facial expression. I can see how some people describe porn as disgusting.

On the other end of the scale, we have tasteful pictures, which are of a more "teasing" nature, in which "not all goods are displayed", and hints at beauty that is unseen. One example can be a silhouette of a young woman in nude, facing away from the camera, and maybe with one of her arms stretched out while holding a translucent sash that is barely covering her body. The body can be facing the side, making the outline of a full breast visible.

Both are nude pictures, but the former is gross and cheap, while the latter has more class. There is a big difference. In one you can see everything, in the other you need imagination.





Anyway back to the Witcher, it is a nice game, but not as addictive as NWN2, probably because of the long loading times. Really ruins the momentum.

I'm playing this because my PS2's TV has finally shown signs of aging. More specifically, the green tube no longer works and the TV cannot display the colour green. Now everything appears red, so I stopped playing. If I get a new TV, fine. If not, I get less distractions in the future. I'm not planning to ask for a new one.

When I stopped playing my PS2, I was planning to play NWN2, now that I have the expansion set, but one of the files in the CD turns out to be corrupted, so I cannot play it until I get a new copy. Meanwhile I had nothing to play, and when withdrawal symptoms started to become obvious, my bro told me about the Witcher, which he tried but didn't like. He's a MMORPG addict, so this is not his type. I tried, and now I cannot make myself play NWN2 until I give up or finish Witcher.

And I cannot install NWN2 because my laptop is 3/4 full. The freaking Supreme Commander with expansion takes up 15GB!! Holy shit!

And about Supreme Commander's expansion, Forged Alliance, the campaign for the 3 races is really the same story in which you can choose to play as any of the 3 races. Since all 3 races are allies now, the story doesn't change whichever race you choose to be.

The new units are nice, but in the campaign, all I really use is heavy artilleries plus nukes - my omnipotent strategy against AI. First I create walls of shielded defenses at the correct choke points, then I tech up and build some heavy artilleries. If they have anti-nuke defenses, I have specific targets for the big guns. If not, I let my guns go free. Most likely they won't die from mere artilleries unless I build 20 of them, but this gets boring, so I get nukes.

If this shitty strategy is unsuitable, like for example they start out with Experimental Units that rush at you right away, I spam a mix of Air Superiority fighters and Strategic Bombers. Simple ideas for simple people like me.

The game's battles are so huge, I always zoom as far away as possible to reduce the load on the computer. I zoom in only when I pause to give orders. In the campaigns I can have up to 500 units, and even though this includes buildings and builders, 350 bombers and fighters is a FREAKING HUGE SWARM. I really built that many in one of the battles. I had about 50 structures and 100 builders all helping my 3 air factories spam planes. LOL! I remember I had about 50 builders on one, the rest split between the other 2.

Later in the game I realized that instead of building with these drones, I can get a hundred ACUs when I have the tech, so I spent 4 hours on that round, spamming upgraded ACUs and then sacrifice all the drones on planes. I never expected the building speed to go up as much as it did. It was insane. And so was the lag when I was done.

After that I tried building about a hundred Colossus ( I was Aeon), this time with only 30 ACUs, and using 30 on each of the 3 enemy bases. It was like using a towel to wipe the screen clean.

Hmm, should I use Colossii instead, as the plural of Colossus?







My mum has been bugging me about getting a girfriend. It is simply annoying. What did she expect? Not everyone can find a suitable girl in half a year like Ivan did. Not that she knows about him, but he's a good example of a lucky person.

Now she's telling one of her sisters about it, and one of my cousins too. Hong Kong and New York are no longer on my list of good vacation destinations anymore. I don't need blind dates nor arranged marriage; I need silence and peace in my life.

But this nagging will never end, I think. I am beginning to see the need for a girlfriend, if only for some peace at home, but I'm not aware of anyone suitable at all. In fact, I don't see myself as having any similar interest with any girl. I don't watch TV, I don't listen to music regularly, I read voraciously, I need games, I don't visit the cinemas often or even spend money outside much. I don't shop, except for groceries. I don't talk on the phone, and when I do talk at all, it usually evolves into a monologue. I'm not humorous.

This is a rather tricky problem for me.

Rant 082 / It Happens

My fondue pwns. Just kidding. I found out why cheese fondue is not as popular as chocolate fondue the other day - it is quite oily. But it's cheese after all, so it's no surprise. What is surprising to me is that it makes me full faster than I expected. Couldn't finish all the cheese even with my bro. It's only 200g of cheese, half cheddar, half emmental.

Beer does add a certain flavour to the cheese. I'm going to try bacon cheese fondue some day. I have 300g of back bacon just waiting for me in the freezer. Muahahahahahaha! But there's no alcohol in bacon cheese fondue. Wonder when I'm ever going to use the little bottle of Burgundy. Probably never, with the expiry date approaching soon. Or has it expired already? Oh well.

The sliced roast beef at Cold Storage tastes just like the sliced ham they sell! The salt covered most of the flavour in the meat and the beef flavour is detectable only if it is eaten without anything else. And it costs $4.50/g! Wasted my $14!

Now I have the ingredients for cheese fries, I'm going to try someday soon when my bro finally books out for the last time. What would holidays be for if not for sinning?

I also have almost all the ingredients for bacon cheese fondue. Almost. I'm going to buy the parsley and etc on the day I make it.

And I've learnt why french toast is usually made from sliced bread even though french loaf tastes better - because unless you have a good bread knife, never attempt to sliced the loaf for the toast. At home, I have only 2 types of knifes - the meat knives for when my mum cooks steaks, and the omnipotent cleaver. What choice do I have but to slice bread with the mighty huge knife? And so I attempted 4 times and found out that the uneven surface is not conducive for proper frying of the whole surface. Sliced bread, on the other hand, is perfectly cut, so if the crust is removed, it is easy to fry. Good lesson, and at least the toasts taste decent, not burnt.

If I had burnt one of them, I'd have ruined another pan lol! How many years has it been since I burnt something on a pan... maybe 2, or 3.

Next time, I'm going to fry some of the bacon together with the french toasts, so that there will be something salty for the meal. Frying bacon is easy, especially since the no oil is necessary. I used to fry it in in microwave, but washing the plates I fry them in is hell... for the maid. :P Part-time maid, btw, not full-time.





Hellgate: London is just like Diablo in first-person view! Right now I have only a lvl 22 Engineer, and I've been playing in first-person throughout. According to my bro, and the online reviews, the two Hunter classes may be the only classes that require the first-person view. The other classes do not need to fight from far away, which I can tell from all those unusable weapons I've picked up so far. The weapons with the longest ranges (up to 40m) are available only to Hunters, while the Cabalists use short and mid-range weapons (20m or shorter). Templars use mostly melee weapons, but these are hard to come by. Most weapons in the game seem to be for Hunters, and this makes the two Hunter classes to be the most interesting.

Back to why HGL is like Diablo. Some monsters are very similar, like the small leaping thing in Diablo and its sequel, though in HGL it seems much larger. In first-person view, of course. The loot is also similar, except the names aren't as lame as those in Diablo, like "Scaly Ring Mail of Luck" and such. Bleh.

In fact, it is the variety of loot that makes the game interesting, since the story is quite minimal - you cannot understand the whole story unless you read beforehand the backstory. This is the one thing Flagship Studio is depending on the make it playable. Together with the MMO feature, it may just work, if not for the unimpressive bosses in the game. It could have made a good MMORPG, if not for the fact that the bosses are mostly normal monsters with different stats and names. Totally in contrast with WoW, where the bosses are bigger than normal and look different from the rest of the mobs.

There are some quirky minigames within, but those aren't enough. One minigame I've just finished requires me to fire cannons on a gigantic monster that constantly moves about. I cannot get near it or it'll either stamp on me or breath fire on me. I can't hurt it either unless 2 cannons are firing on it at once. These cannons only fire for a short while without me manning them, and they are placed some distance from each other. When 2 of them are firing on it, it will shrink and lose its immunity to my weapons for a short while.

And the minigame called Triage! It is just like the Triage quest in WoW Horde, except with mobs coming in while you save the dying soldiers within the time limit. Triage is the quest where there are eight beds in the room and Severely injured or Gravely injured soldiers suddenly appear on the beds and you have to save them while the clock ticks.

There really is little reason to play HGL offline, unless you are bored or you love loot. I love loot. :P When I finish HGL I'll leave it in my laptop so that I can play again, probably as a Summoner or Evoker. No way am I going to try Templars when my framerate can dramatically decrease at times, especially when things explode or many mobs appear. Not always, but often enough to prevent me from trying.

Or maybe I should just stop playing this and play Atelier Iris 2, then Xenosaga Ep III, and leave HGL for hall days. Hmm...




Valkyrie Profile 2 isn't a game that I like. The graphics are fine, but the gameplay isn't that interesting for me. Somehow I just dislike the combat style and the fact that I need to use things in dungeons that I may have left behind in previous dungeons. I hate replaying old dungeons in single-player games - feels exactly like my grinding days in Lineage 2, brings back bad memories.



Talking about Lineage 2, it is the first game that introduced to me the reality of gaming addiction. Before that, I always thought gaming addiction was meant the player loves gaming so much that he cannot stop. It was only through my experience in L2 that made me realise that love is not necessary for the addiction to persist. Something just holds me to the game, something I cannot explain that pulls me back from real life. I hate grinding, but I just want to play it, for reasons I cannot understand. Then with the help of a friend in the game, I moved to WoW, and I realised I hated L2. WoW is actually enjoyable because grinding isn't necessary to level, and the PvP games rock!

In L2, I grind 24/7 on the same mobs all the time. A small mistake can often lead to death and the loss of 4% of the exp bar. A small mistake can be running too far and agroing a high level mob accidentally. Worse is the lawlessness of the L2 world, where PKers roam free and farmers care about their quotas more than the area available for the other players. Because of the stingy loot drop chances in the game, demands for farmed gold and items are always in high demand, and thus the thriving farmer populations. These guys play like sweatshop labourers, never resting and always farming. Of course they most likely have shifts but I don't care. What I care is that they actually take up so many of the better areas that real players have only the worse rooms to grind in.

And it's boring as hell to kill the same things all day. Or watch your party members kill them anyway, if you're a healer like I was. All I did was watch their HP bars, and sit when nothing needed to be done. It was just like my 2 years as RP, doing nothing all day, but have to remain alert throughout - no sleeping, no other forms of entertainment even if you're bored of sitting, because the others may get seriously injured suddenly, and you have to spam the heal buttons right away.

Oh yes, I did manage to cause the party to wipe because I was watching tv while the tank suddenly died from a massive overdose of mob agro. And I got... shit for that.

WoW was heavenly compared to L2 hell, because there are so many areas I can roam, and so many unorthodox forms of entertainment I can find in WoW, like exploring unopened areas. But in a serious guild, it does get kind of like L2 because members will need to grind for materials for better items one is required to have. Which sucked. And made me quit. I hate grinding.


Time to go.

Rant 081 / Sustenance!

I have this sneaking suspicion that I may have pushed myself too hard. Yesterday I could not make myself do more than a few questions throughout the day. Everytime I look at the paper I couldn't think; my brain just refused to budge. And this is just when I'm starting my revision on my weakest subject: Chemistry. What luck!

And I'm no longer eating much since 2 weeks ago. Everyday I feel hungry only once, maybe twice, but I do not eat at those times. Instead, I eat only when I'm tired to doing work, and needed some relaxation. By doing my revision or playing some games, I have been ignoring my hunger everyday.

But I have nothing to worry about. I do eat 1-2 slices of cheap cheese daily. Cheap, because it is almost tasteless, and sold at $4+ for 36 slices. And with some fruit yoghurt and fruit slices I eat occasionally, I should be able to avoid scurvy, or any nutritional deficiency. The only thing really lacking may be sugar/carbohydrates, because the only real energy supplier is the fat from the cheese.

I still have a box of Laughing Cow Cheese that I eat once in a while. About 1 portion every few days, because it's expensive and contains an unholy proportion of fats. But it tastes heavenly compared to any food that I can obtain without taking a bus.

Plus I still have some canned food, like these 2 cans of tuna chunks in olive oil. One of my favourite canned food. And I have a few packets of instant bee hoon and hor fun, which helps when I don't feel like spending money - I have only $35 left that I can allow myself to spend until the 23rd. I started with $300 two weeks ago, and spend quite a bit on canned food and cheese( I started with three boxes of La Vache Qui Rit, but used one and a half boxes for my French presentation). My meals also cost $5-7 every time.

Of course I eat real food. I buy a meal from the Chinese food stall everyday, and sometimes they give me discounts. Once I tried the Western stall's food by ordering a roasted chicken leg and wing. It was good, and when I use the word "leg", I mean both the drumstick and upper thigh.

I have only 2 reasons to be dissatisfied. One, the black pepper gravy was totally unnecessary, and tasteless. Unnecessary, because the chicken was already roasted with honey or something sweet. Second was the price. The leg costs $3.50, the wing $1.10. That meal of leg and wing alone costs $4.60. Maybe it is comparable with the prices outside, but if that is true, improve that damned gravy! Or use something else! I can't taste the pepper unless I drink it! You might as well use a weak salt solution with black flecks in it.

Well, I must admit it's worth the price, barely, but it is not what I need. I don't need the fats and high sugar content. I need proteins, vitamins, and some carbohydrates. With cheese, yoghurts and fruits, I can get enough proteins and vitamins. With the rice I can get the carbohydrates. And I don't really care about dietary fibre since I don't have much to pass out anyway.

Maybe I just need seaweed or something, for iodine. I don't want to get thyroid diseases. Not till after exams anyway. Oh hell, I'll just risk it LOL! There are only 5 days more before I can eat like a king again. Not counting today, there are only Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday! On Friday morning I'll finish my last paper by 11.30am, and packed up by 1pm. Home by 2pm! Yes I'm planning to take a cab, because I'm bringing almost everything back.

And XL suggested that I ask some ladies to join us! LOL! When I used the phrase "I don't talk to much" I was trying to say I don't speak/chat to them at all, but I did ask them a question or two during the term, and I did speak to them during my presentation because my presentation was a game in which the whole class participated in.

Of course some of them are cute, but still, I merely know their names and have a vague idea of
which courses they're in. So no help from me there.

Rant 080 / Planning Holidays For Motivation To Go Through Exams

The Fountain is a pretty good movie. I still don't exactly understand everything(I believe the spaceship was a metaphor for his mind and his thoughts, but what was the meaning of him dying in the end and the tree reviving?), but it had a nice story and excellent music. In fact, without the music the whole film would be crap, because the music pieces seem to be composed for the scenes in the show.

I didn't know www.purepwnage.com was so famous that the Australian video game show, GG, invited them onto for a tournament. PP vs GG lol! So far PurePwnage has 15 episodes since their start in 2004, and they are showing their new episodes in cinemas! Plus they are sold out all the time!

But that's only in Canada. In Sg, I think I'm the only person who knows about them. Probably because many gaming Singaporeans can't understand non-local English. It's not wrong to speak Singlish, but you've got to learn to understand foreign accents if you want to get out of this island.

Other than some of the nerdy fighting scenes in the later episodes of the first season, the show is extremely humourous. They poke fun at the stereotypical gamer and many internet memes. I can never forget the villain in ep 15 saying,"You are on the way to destruction. You have no chance to survive make your time!"

ROFLMAO! For those of you who don't understand, this is part of the ultra-famous internet meme "All you base are belong to us." The whole scene that this line originated from was this:

Narrator: In A.D. 2101, war was beginning.

Captain: What happen ?

Mechanic: Somebody set up us the bomb.

Operator: We get signal.

Captain: What!

Operator: Main screen turn on.

Captain: It's you!!

CATS: How are you gentlemen!!

CATS: All your base are belong to us.

CATS: You are on the way to destruction.

Captain: What you say!!

CATS: You have no chance to survive make your time.

CATS: Ha Ha Ha Ha ....

Operator: Captain!!

Captain: Take off every 'ZIG'!!

Captain: You know what you doing.

Captain: Move 'ZIG'.

Captain: For great justice.

Anyway, Purepwnage is definitely for you if you consider yourself a gamer!



Now to real life. Back when I was doing some research for my French presentation, I found several simple cheese fondue recipes that I thought I could use. I pinned 2 of the easiest in front of me now, so that I can test them when my exams are over. Not only that, I also found that there is "Beef Fondue" in which you dip bite-size beef into a pot of oil and butter. Something like frying, but DIY. Sounds interesting, but a bit dangerous for a n00b like me. I'll try cheese first. Maybe if its good, I'll suggest it for the BBQ, or replace the BBQ with fondue. You can dip many things in both cheese and beef fondue. In the cheese fondue, one can also use ham or anything suitable for eating with cheese. For beef fondue, any meat can be used.

Now there is only 1 problem - I don't know how much electric fondue pots cost... Some websites state prices ranging from S$200-450, while in ebay, there are prices ranging from S$10-60. Hmm...



www.freerice.com is a very interesting website. I found this bot for it via wikipedia that plays the game for me. In addition, since this website allows a separate game for each browser opened on it, even if they are on the same computer, I can thus open several bots at one go. The most I have tried using at one shot is 10. Yea, in 2 hours with just 5 bots, I've donated 100000 grains of rice. Taking 1 grain to be 25mg, 10k grains will be 2.5kg. If 1000 ppl do this for 8 hrs a day, they will be giving out 10,000kg of rice daily. The best thing is that this doesn't require much bandwidth, so I can run it together with this Folding@Home program, or with games running.

Rant 079 / Stone-Age, Bronze-Age, Iron-Age, Pwn-Age

A few days back I started playing this browser-based MMORPG Urban Dead, which is pretty low-tech, not time-consuming, but interesting. Being low-tech, it is a rare online game which my shitty dorm bandwidth can support. It is designed such that you cannot spend much time on it, making it ideal for muggers like me. It is interesting, since it is the only MMORPG I know of that has no NPCs. And the zombie-infested-city theme is also makes it more unique.

http://www.urbandead.com/map.cgi?logout

What is it about? The background story is that the city of Malton suddenly becomes filled with zombies. Before all residents can successfully evacuate, a quarantine was placed on the city. Meanwhile, researchers of the company, NecroTech, were ordered to stay within the city to study the zombies.

Players can choose to play as the humans or the zombies. As humans, there are 3 classes to choose from, with many sub-classes: military(Private, Medic and Scout), civilians(Cop, Firefighter and Consumer) and scientists(Doctor and NecroTech assistant).

Most of the sub-classes are pretty obvious, but some of them are rather unique. As a Consumer, you can find loots in malls more easily. As a NecroTech assistant, you can "tag" zombies and allow other players to spot them more easily.

But if you feel evil and want to try the zombie, there is only 1 class of zombies - Zombie.

Zombies seem quite easy to use, since you cannot die(you simply rise again by spending Action Points). Other than that, you also have a whole range of skills to choose from, like Scent of Fear and Infectious Bite.

The game doesn't have good graphics, and is turn-based. This means even if you lag, consequences are not as bad as if you are playing a real-time game. It uses a system of Action Points, in which you gain 1 AP per half-hours, or 48AP everyday. Every action you take(eg walking from one building to another, attacking or talking through the radio) consumes 1 AP.

There is no economy in the city of Malton. Makes sense, who'd want to trade while struggling to survive in a city of zombies? This is ensured by the game designers refusing to implement the trade/give function. Therefore, what you find(btw, "searching the area" takes 1AP) is always yours until you drop it, at which point it disappears.

The "search area" function gives you a chance of finding items, and your location affects what you can find. In police stations you can find guns, and in NecroTech offices you can find revival syringes(for turning zombies into people).

But the lack of AP really bugs me sometimes. Everyday, I get about 48 APs, and just walking to a building and entering takes 2 AP. Everytime I have to stop doing whatever I was doing and find a safe building to rest in before my AP runs out. Yes, you have to find a barricaded building to rest before logging off or you may get killed by zombies that sees you.

And as for barricaded buildings, barricades can be removed by zombies when they attack them enough times, but also can be rebuilt by anyone who has the right skills and enough APs.

Rant 078 / Curiosity Gets Sued By SPCA For Animal Abuse

Sitting with a one-liter bottle of water, and two filled half-liter bottles next to my laptop, I type this blog knowing I will not be running out of water before I finish this rant.

I have no idea why I mentioning the water, but I just did.

The past week has been rather frustrating for me, not because of the approaching exam dates, but because of my horrible neighbours. I used to think that the guy in my neighbourhood who shouts that "wooot!" thing suddenly at any moment during the day was annoying. I was, as the Chinese idiom goes, frog in a well.

Just yesterday in the afternoon, the group of four were waiting outside a room a few doors away from me, and two of them were shouting to someone. From the lack of response to their shouts, I can conclude that their target was inside the room. But from the fact the they were actually shouting, I can also assume they were shouting to someone on another floor. So which should I choose?

Before seeing them, I was suffering their shouts in silence in my room. But when I got too distracted from my work, and thus remembered to eat, I decided to go out for some food.

That was when I saw them shouting there outside the room, like the scum of society that they are. I decided to avoid them by taking another route to the canteen, lest I feel like punching them too much.

Unfortunately, after buying my food, I was looking forward to eating so much I forgot about them and took the path I had avoided. As I took the corner and started to approach them, I got real pissed because they were still shouting things that most of the neighbourhood didn't care about but were still hearing anyway.

I didn't do anything foolish, but I stared at the guy in blue who shouted the most. Even in normal circumstances, I believe I look unfriendly though I never try to look fierce for no reason. But this time, I decided to put a little more effort in the stare.

Of course he stopped and looked at me, probably thinking I was going to do something to him. But it'd be ludicrous sight since I was holding my lunch in one hand. So I just walked passed him without a word, almost knocking into him (I'm big, but the corridor isn't much bigger).

Several moments passed before he spoke again. He was speaking somewhat softly (but still audible to me from my distance) to a friend in Mandarin, "那个人 很 凶 hor?"

Fucking morons. What did you expect, a smile and congratulations from me for attaining the rank of Asshole, First Class?

But of course, as they were morons, they did not quite seem to get what I meant and went on with their infernal screaming. Now you see what that Finnish guy meant when he said he was a "natural selector" before massacring in his school?

Not that he was right, but I sure can see why he felt like killing them. And with that gun of his, lousy model as it was, it was still a great temptation to use a gun on low-lives like these.

I'm also not implying those people he killed probably shouted a lot. I mean they are obviously human pests who's future is obviously detrimental to modern society.

But that wasn't all. On the same day, in the evening, a group of guy played some kind of video game in a room downstairs. From a few whistles I heard, I'd say they were playing Winning Eleven. The main problem isn't with that they were playing when exams start next week for most people. What pissed me off again was that one guy kept shouting whenever he scored a goal. And I could tell he scored quite a few goals.

That isn't all. Another guy was shouting vulgarities once in a while, and there were a few shouts from some others. I'm glad Singapore doesn't allow civilians to possess guns.

After 2 hours of the din, there started a few shouts from other guys who were trying to shut them up. To no avail. And from the persistence shouts from the same guy, I believe it to be the same person as the one I stared at that afternoon.

In addition, I feel helpless. I have no idea if the hall office have the capability to resolve such problems. I have no idea how to contact the hall committee and if they would help in such matters.

Worst of all, I feel embarrassed. They were obviously locals, and at least half the residents in this block are foreigners. It is bad enough that everyone knows the foreign students always get better grades than local students, at least in Engineering. Do they have to make things worse by making asses of themselves in front of so many foreigners?

Everyday?

Another reason to get out of this country when I graduate.






A month back, my roommate got dumped by his girlfriend. Very sad. I was quite surprised, since just a few days before it happened, she came to our room to visit him in the morning. They looked like they were at a very intimate stage, sharing his seat and stuff. And he isn't even ugly or anything; He's even the leader of his guitar ensemble. Cried quite a bit, but eventually stopped.

Then all of a sudden he was crying again last night. I'm not going to say anything this time. The last time I had advised him not to hold it in, and that's the only advise I will ever give to anyone who needs to cry. Any other advices may not be beneficial to him, especially since I'm not a pro in life anyway.

Wonder what he was crying about. Oh hell...










Democracy is the celebration of mediocrity. Why? Think about it this way:

The one with most authority, whether it is the President or Prime Minister, is changed regularly. I'm not talking about Singapore since it is not a true democracy. But when the ruler is changed, long-term plans are interrupted. If the ruler knows he will be replaced soon, he will not bother to plan anything for the far future , eg 20 years ahead. But in a government where the authority is certain to remain with the same person, eg in an absolute monarchy, the ruler can plan for the future.

Even if a President plans for the far future, it will very likely be changed according the ideas of later Presidents.

But in a government where a person is able to hold on to power indefinitely, like LKY, great benefits can be reaped by planning very far ahead.

But this is a gamble, as seen in the world's history. Though this is a possibility that democracy lacks, democracy is able to prevent serious damage if the ruler happens to be unfit for rule. Bush Jr is an exception.

What's more is that every several years, the government has to spend great amount of tax money for elections and keeping the people happy with the ruling party.

So in the end, democracy greatly limits the benefits of having a good ruler, but it also prevents the country from ruination. It is the celebration of mediocrity.

Rant 077 / I Love My New Phone!

My first prepared speech at the Toastmasters Club was almost a disaster. It was definitely a wise choice to choose a topic I'm very familiar with: the epic fantasy genre.

I didn't prepare my speech until the morning of that day, and spent most of my time fantasizing about how I will deliver it. No rehearsal, no editing, no preparation but the (draft) script.

The first thing I realized about the speech when it was finally my turn was that I didn't remember much of what I wrote down. I could remember that my speech was to start with Tolkien, followed by Robert Jordan, and ending with George R.R. Martin.

It was truly stage-fright at work. I didn't know what I was talking about at a conscious level. All I can remember about the speech was that I had to walk to the left and right, and to my script that I had placed on the lectern, pretending to read it when I was panicking too much to read anything. Everything I did then was decided at a subconscious level. My conscious mind was desperately searching my memories for materials to use. I can remember the encouraging looks they gave me, but I didn't acknowledge any. By walking around and pretending to read, I gave myself time to remember, though it wasn't perfect. It was only when my evaluator gave his speech that I realized at one point, I had looked at him when I stop at a certain part, then turn around and walked towards my script. I don't remember that part.

And worse, I had only used my right arm to gesture, making my left arm look crippled. I'm sure there were many parts where I paused in the middle of my words, because I distinctly remember that there were times when I had spoken the words before realizing they were not phrased in the way I wanted. They were probably thinking I was trying to remember my script.

And for all my pride I have in my grammar, I made the major mistake of speaking in present tense when I described the stories. Ouch.

The good thing was, I looked at the audience in the eye, even though it was something done unconsciously. I can never do that consciously, not without significant effort.

The best thing was, I looked relaxed as I spoke, even though I was panicking throughout. Amazing. Amazing because my hands were very cold and close to trembling. That I even used hand gestures during the speech was unexpected except in my fantasies.

When I finished the speech(I finished with a "thank you" instead of a summary/conclusion), I went back to my seat, and was surprised when my evaluator congratulated me for speaking well, and being relaxed during the whole speech. I didn't believe him, until the VP(Education) wrote me a slip giving his evaluation, which included describing me as being confident.

Hah! Confident my ass!

But then, that was only the first speech. I wasn't the one of the best speakers of that day, but I was definitely better than half of them. The 2 best speakers that night were so smooth I'd have thought they have been doing this often. The 3rd year accountancy student probably had... The other guy was in some drama society before too...

I sang in choirs before, but in all the performances I was never alone on stage!

And to the language evaluator: screw you! "Year" is pronounced as "y-eer" not "eer"! And "Tolkien" is pronounced as "toll-keen" not "toll-ki-en"! I'm accepting only the criticism on my erroneous usage of present tense in speech!

And screw the Potter series. All of them probably thought I was going to talk about Harry in the speech!




Wow! There went the week-long break! I haven't done a thing, yet I'm blogging now. What the hell...

Rant 076 / If What We Get From The Gov Is What Everyone Else Is Getting In The World, What Would Be "Extraordinary" Here? My Gullibility?

I'm not unhappy with the way things are in Singapore, yet. It is worrying, as I learn more about the other side that they try to cover from our eyes. I'm not too familiar with the compulsory longevity insurance thing, so my mind isn't much affected by it.

What worries me is that our leaders are unable to do anything dynamic to regain our trust. Over the decades, the trust of the people in them has waned. Slowly, we realize that not everything they seem to be saying, are true. Whatever happened to their promise to stop raising costs, which someone seems to have made in the last election?

It is true that not many trust them now. But is this what a leader is supposed to be? To be somewhat respected, but not trusted?

I now see that democracy is not the ideal choice. It is the best choice only when no good leader is around and willing. When no true leadership is available, a group of mediocre leaders will be the best option. An example of a true leader is Otto von Bismarck, a cunning diplomat who rarely gets into a disadvantaged position. Pity Wilheim II ruined what he had created over his lifetime.

A real leader brings his nation forward, and ahead of others. A mediocre leader brings his nation forward, but maintains the status quo. A poor leader stagnates the development, or worse, cause degeneration.

What democracy can do, is to limit what the leaders can achieve, whether good or bad. By allowing each leader a maximum number of years to serve, he cannot do great harm to his own country.

But this, too, means that a good leader cannot be at his best in a democracy, because he does not have the time to achieve what great leaders in the past can create over a lifetime of hard work. He is also limited by a myriad of rules and regulation and other obstacles, because his rule isn't absolute.

Even if he gets into a position where he can have, indirectly, absolute rule, the fact that he is doing so indirectly reduces his efficiency. For one, he will always need to present his ideas in a way that is acceptable to the people, and may have to wait for the right time to do so.

In a way, we are sacrificing the chance of great progress for a safe and stagnant world.

But isn't this what civilization has always been about? Safety?

Civilization was invented as a safe haven for women, so that men can get laid and go on with life. This seems to make sense, really. It is the basic instinct of men to want to have sex. It is the basic instinct of women to search for a safe environment for the family. Civilization solves Problem 2, and thus solving Problem 1.

By giving up clubbing each other over the head over the smallest excuse, men get to have sex more often. Fair deal.

Going back to democracy, it can be concluded that humans in general prefer not to gamble. Man has learnt that possible consequences of gambling, and now prefers to stay his hand. Or has he?

Theonlinecitizen blog claims to be neutral, but I find the ideas in there a little paranoid a few times in the past. More than half the time, they present analyses of current issues that are not what is shown in ther mainstream media. But there are just a few instances where I find them overboard.

It's not wrong to suspect the worst, but I find it wrong that so few standing up. It is their country! They are supposed to be a democracy, but if they have never voted for their President before, how long will it be before they start to call their system a dictatorship?

It is not just that they've always got one possible candidate for our Presidents. The fear of speaking against the government must also be taken into account. When no one says something, it doesn't mean no one is thinking it. When one person says something, it means many are thinking it.

And with the highest pay in the world, the ministers had better be the best in the world. Whatever they are doing up there, we expect extraordinary results, not just what we have always got. They said they were "extraordinary" after all. If what we get is what everyone else in the world is getting, what would be "extraordinary" here? My gullibility?

Rant 075 / I Need A Bot That Programs Bots That Can Do My Tutorials

Time flies? Or is uni life much faster than what I'm use to?

1 month into the sem and tests are coming. At least they weren't hard.

Next week is the mid-term break. What break? This week is totally necessary for me to redo all those questions I didn't get right in my tutorials, and try to be far ahead of the tutors.







Spiderman 3 must be one of the worst movies I've ever watched. The story isn't great, the logic in many things are lacking, and coincidences are everywhere.

Like Advent's Children, this is clearly a movie meant for the fans, or rather, their purses. Back when I first saw the trailers, it seemed like such a great movie. Now that I've forgotten all those over-hyped scenes they had created for the advertisements, I find the movie a total bore.

A glaring example of the logical fallacies in this movie is that the guy who's made of sand, whatever his name was, didn't need to confront anyone. He didn't need to fight, or suffer fall injuries. All he had needed to do was turn to sand whenever he gets caught and slip away! He can be anywhere at anytime, and he didn't need to do anything by force.

Alright, enough of this criticizing. I'm not an expert in this sort of thing anyway.




Amazing how some of the thinner girls can eat a lot (or so they claim) and still look like war refugees. LOL I'm kidding. No one in Singapore can be that thin. Most girls, I'd say, are "acceptably thin". Recently I met another girl in one of my tutorial classes who's like that. She claims to eat more than other girls, but that isn't saying much. When I say that I can eat more than other guys, that's saying something.

I don't have the biggest appetite among all the people that I know though.

And even if I can eat so much, it doesn't imply that I always eat to that capacity. Maybe someday I should get her out to a buffet and see if she's as capable as she claims to be. I have my doubts, but I don't know if I'm wrong or right here.

How many good buffets do I know of anyway? Not many, and I tend to forget the less memorable ones.

For japanese buffets, I know this Suki Sushi at Cineleisure, which is pretty good, relative to the price. For 20+ bucks, which is low for a buffet, I can get a nice variety of food that is really worth the money.

For international buffets, I don't know of any cheap/affordable ones. I don't like international buffets, for some reasons I have yet to figure out. The best that I know of is Melt the World Cafe at Oriental Hotel. With a price of about 55-60+ per adult, the buffet spread can really open your eyes. But what is amazing isn't the main course, but the desserts. It is worthed the price, but the price is rarely worthed the occasion.

For Indian buffets, I remember this Annalakshmi chain that doesn't have a fixed price. I have only been to the buffet at Chinatown point, but the food is delicious, even if everything is vegetarian. The spread is small, with less than 10 types of curry, and not everything refilled continuously; some are just replaced with another type of food when the container is empty. They do have a rather large variety of drinks, and in fact, there are more drinks than food. Everything is worth the price, since the price is decided by you. You can pay as much/little as you wish, and that is their policy.

I haven't been to any Malay buffets. In fact, I don't know much about Malay cuisine, but it seems really underdeveloped to me. I've checked out the Wikipedia articles on various cuisines, like French and Cantonese, but the one on Malay cuisine is a disappointment. It includes a section on Indian food and Chinese food and several others, which are as large as the Malay section. Actually, the Chinese section is the largest of all.

So, this is not saying anything nice about Malay cuisine. What have they been doing all these centuries???

Well, the article on Singapore cuisine is just the same, but... doesn't Malaysia have a longer history as kingdoms/sultanates/cities than Singapore? Like, say, Kedah?

What have they been doing back then, instead of cooking up more fancy stuff?? I'm getting sick of Nasi Lemak, man!

I need to try more types of cuisines. My growth in this area is really stunted. Western cuisine at most places in Singapore is a joke, since everything European/American is fused together into one type of food. But then, I can probably say the same for Chinese food in Western countries, where Chinese food can only mean Cantonese food.

What is Taiwanese food? What is Burmese food? What is Cambodian food? What is Italian food? What is Spanish food? What is French food? What is distinctly unique about all these cuisines?

I need food.

Rant 074 / Time Is Borrowed. The Clock Is Ticking. Everything Tastes Bland When Time Is Limited.

Kitty Frenzy Today

Quantum Physics is so hard! This is the first time, in the several months since I resumed my studies, that I'm actually unable to complete half a tutorial by myself!

On the other hand, I don't see anyone completing the tutorial in my tutorial group. I think just about everyone but me was copying down the model solutions since Question 1.

Should I feel happy or sad?

I feel frightened.

Whenever I'm the best in something positive, I'm positive that something is wrong.

This belief started after several years of playing Natural Selection. During those years, I noticed that despite having 200+ ping in servers where the norm is 10-100+, I do get to be the best player in terms of frag/death once in a while. And whenever that happens, rarely do my teams win.

I'm not that pro, especially with pings like that.

And I'm no genius.

So what does that say about the rest of the group?

I am so screwed.

At least I see hope for my precious A in this 4 AU Physics module. Woot!

My original aim was to be 5 tutorials ahead, but right now, I'm starting to lag by half a tutorial behind. How? Normally I should have done half of the next tutorial by now, a day past the tutorial class this week.

Right now, I still have trouble understanding and absorbing the half of the last tutorial that I didn't finish. This is very bad. I really need the A.

My grades, so far, have been average, ranging from B+ to C+. At least the B+ is for a 4 AU module. But still, there are 2 C's out of 4 modules! Half my grades are C's!

And what's worse is that I cannot have language courses for PE! I so wanted French 02 for my Humanities PE next semester. Now I will have to resort to studying some boring shit, unless I get lucky with some of the hotter modules.

So far French is pretty hard. The teacher isn't very clear in his explanation; I'm still confused about the pronunciation of 'r' in the French language. Is it always the sound you make from the throat, like the 'ch' in German? Pronouncing basic words like 'francais' would be harder than I thought!

And reading about French cheeses is not easy either. I was constantly hungry while reading about Brie, Comte and Beaufort cheeses on Wikipedia. Comte and Beaufort cheeses are the more common cheeses used in French cheese fondues. And I never knew that I need dry white wine to make a proper cheese fondue! Hmm...


Mmm...

Hungry...

And I'd need crusty bread! What's 'crusty', exactly? Do those baguettes count? Obviously sliced bread doesn't.

More hunger...

By the way, 'dry' wines are wines that have very little or no residual sugar, except in the case of sparkling wine, where dry means sweet. Eg Pinot blanc.

Rant 073 / Many Topics. One Rant.

It is very obvious how immature I am. In everything I say, I display a blatant lack of depth. It is amazing how anyone would read my rants and think I'm talking sense. I have no sense.

I am not a very logical person. I do things for no reasons. I say things without enough justifications. I elaborate on matters without adequate research. That's me.

Why do I do all these foolish things?

Why do I persist?

What is the meaning of this?

Why am I asking you this?

Am I asking myself all these questions?

Why do I ask myself at all?

Why me?



Did you feel annoyed at all those questions above?




The thing is, who cares? I can say anything and nothing, and no one really gives a damn.

Yes, this is the world. Its motto is "No one cares".

Not true?

The world is not what you think it is, but what you will it to be.

It bends. That is a very convenient trait of reality. It bends.

It bends to your will. What is real, can be made unreal. What is unreal, can be made real.






Notice the abrupt changes in topics so as to avoid the gritty details that, in normal circumstances, will make you fall asleep faster than your grandfather at 9pm?


I am simply not a great talker. I make a poor conversationalist. My roommate is almost a stranger to me, even though he did cuddle with his girlfriend last night right behind me.

How can he do that when we hardly know each other?!

I wish I can tell him to get a room, but I cannot risk doing anything that will hurt our relationship. We're going to live in the same room for a year after all.

Well, I hope I'm right to use the word "cuddle" because I don't know what it means exactly. Does sitting on the same chair in front of the com and talking softly to each other count??

You must be curious about what I did.

Simple. I had downloaded the video of the recent friendly Natural Selection matches between Europe and the U.S., so I put on my earphones and studied proper Fade handling techniques from the vids.

An educational night. I'm talking about the NS videos. As for them, I have no idea what they really did other than sit together and mumbling to themselves.

But then, after this incident, I realized that I will now have to learn to knock if I ever go back to my room late... :D

No, I didn't see them do anything improper unless they were doing it with their clothes on. I don't wear my glasses most of the time, so I cannot be sure of anything. But she was definitely embarrassed when I asked him right away if she was his girlfriend.

I think he grunted in reply. Meanwhile his girlfriend was laughing with her hand covering her mouth. How polite. Or was it there to wipe something off? Oh I'm so sorry if I'm giving you the wrong ideas.

He did call me, but my phone was switched to silent mode, as usual, and I was walking so fast that I didn't feel its vibrations. I blame the looseness of my pants.

Need to learn to knock. Before entering MY room. What the heck...



It was quite interesting to see what the NTU Toastmasters was all about. Apparently, toastmasters are not just what is defined at dictionary.com

toast·mas·ter /ˈtoʊstˌmæstər, -ˌmɑstər/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[tohst-mas-ter, -mah-ster]
–noun

1.	a person who presides at a dinner and introduces the after-dinner speakers.

2.	a person who proposes or announces toasts.

In addition to all these, a toastmaster is also a trained speaker, able to talk smoothly to a large audience. By attending the Welcome Tea last night, I learnt that it is about talking to audiences without fear or hesitation.

The best part of the whole program I attended was the table topics session. It was a 30-minute segment where members of the audience were invited to speak on randomly chosen topics for 2 minutes. I didn't go, gutless as I am. But I thought it'd be useful if I learnt to talk like the President of the NTU Toastmasters.

If you think you can talk well to an audience, you are likely to be wrong. Imagine, or try to remember the last time you talked to an audience. Maybe it was a short presentation, or a sketch. Think about how you talk in such a situation. Then watch how Lee Hsien Loong gave the National Day Rally Speech.

Big diff. Really big.

Rant 072 / Since Food Is Life ( In More Ways Than One), When Food Is Cheap, Life Is Cheap

This is madness!

Freud knows everything about your desires!

Suddenly, I wonder whether what we are hearing on our various media are the real propaganda, and what the media in rogue regimes are telling their people is true.

I must admit, I have no idea what they tell their people over in those countries. But then, we were never taught in school many examples of what "propaganda" really is! And by the way, the "propaganda" I'm using here means:

prop·a·gan·da [prop-uh-gan-duh]
–noun

1.	information, ideas, or rumors deliberately spread widely to help or harm a person, group, movement, institution, nation, etc.

2.	the deliberate spreading of such information, rumors, etc.

3.	the particular doctrines or principles propagated by an organization or movement.

All I have ever seen so far to illustrate propaganda is a poster or two of Hitler and Mao Zedong. I still do not know what these "propaganda" they used in those days were like, and how to differentiate between this negative information and the good stuff.

Why?

Are we not supposed to be able to do so? Is it assumed that we can do it naturally? The latter must be false, else why did the media in Nazi Germany and the old Communist China succeed? They had to have succeed, or Hitler and Mao would never have been able to do what they did!

Therefore, the former is true. All my life, my education was rather biased against various types of government and power control, like Communists. Does this not fall under the FIRST definition of "propaganda"?

Aren't we, then, under the sway of such unfair information?

Right now, I still see Communism as a form of government too idealistic for the real world. But this is based on what I have seen and know so far. I have never been to Cuba or most of China. I have not truly seen Communism at work with my own two eyes. How can I assume that I know enough of Communism to judge it foolish?

But this is only an example. There are many other things I can talk about that also falls under the category of "propaganda", like the Taliban, or the situations in several parts of Africa.

The thing is, WE DON'T KNOW! We don't know much about the Taliban. We don't know much about why, exactly, the Muslim radicals do what they do. We don't know why people in China love their country so. We don't know why some Singapore transport companies want to raise their fares why they are already among the most PROFITABLE companies in Singapore.

Are such companies, which are among the basic necessities of a developed nation, need to be so wealthy? Are their objectives supposed to include HUGE PROFITS?

Therefore, all these support for raising the fares in our local media, are they propaganda under its first definition? Why is it there are so few letters of protest printed in the Straits Times? Why is it that for the past 10 years, we have never been informed of any instances when our government stopped any of our transport companies from raising fares?

And the fact that our country has been ruled by one single party since its independence says something about our democracy. Is it still called "democracy" when we have never needed to vote for our Presidents?

Or is it better defined with the word "totalitarian"?

to·tal·i·tar·i·an [toh-tal-i-tair-ee-uhn]
–adjective

1.	of or pertaining to a centralized government that does not tolerate parties of differing opinion and that exercises dictatorial control over many aspects of life.

2.	exercising control over the freedom, will, or thought of others; authoritarian; autocratic.

–noun

3.	an adherent of totalitarianism.

The part about "dictatorial control" may be debatable. But then, when LKY told Singaporeans to have more babies, everyone started having more unprotected sex. When our ministers have salaries that are more than twice as much as their counterparts in various countries, notably the U.S., no one seriously called for a change.

If no one challenges the government even over such an absurd fact has been announced, is this not because of the second definition? Because our government explains this obscene amount of money entering the accounts of our ministers with the reason that they are so good that they're worth their pay, no one in our country rises up in protest.

To believe that this explanation is totally logical is idiocy. The U.S. counterparts of our amazing ministers have duties that include hundreds of times more things than what our Singaporean ministers are in charge of. Take, for example, our Minister of Transport, and compare with his counterpart in the U.S. government. Are the inherent differences not obvious?

Given that the first definition of the word "totalitarian" is not technically true, the second definition still stands, making this word true. When an unreasonable explanation is accepted by the general masses, isn't it obvious something else must be affecting their mindset to make them accept it?

2.	exercising control over the freedom, will, or thought of others; authoritarian; autocratic.

No?


There is another implication in the announcement of the high salaries. We all know that when the government wants something to be out of our mind, like the imprisonment of an important opposition leader like CSJ (not that I like him anyway), whatever it is will never appear on the local media.

So why this?

Because our government wants us to know they're getting their freakishly high salaries? Right from us taxpayers' pockets? For performing duties that is only a fraction that of their U.S. counterparts?

Is this not similar to the infamous "IN YOUR FACE!!!" attitude?

Does this imply a complete lack of respect for the general masses of Singapore in our government?

Has it come to this, only after a mere 50 years?

Does the PAP realize that the longer they stay in power while calling our government a"democracy", the harder they will fall when the times of change finally arrive? It will be difficult in the extreme for them to return to their present status, because everyone will be reminding themselves of their absolute dominance in the local politics for the past decades.

This is definitely not a threat or whatever negative stuff you wish to call it. This is a logical conclusion that anyone can come to, assuming they do not give up their power willingly to any opposition parties in the future.

As anyone knows, PAP is losing support slowly, but surely as time goes by. By simple extrapolation, we all know that they will lose their power in the near future unless something dramatic is done; something so powerful that it overshadows the fact that they have been in power for 50 years.

Do we want the political chaos we see in Taiwan, in our lovely and peaceful country?

Why do we always compare a future without PAP in power with the present political scene in Taiwan? Taiwan is an extreme case, but not the only case!

Why not compare ourselves with European countries? Like Germany, with their female Chancellor. Or Finland, and maybe, someday, we can have a FEMALE president like they do over there.

Heck, it'd sure make our school halls' walls look better. No offense, but it gets kind of boring staring at a guy's face all the time while in the school hall during my primary and secondary and JC days.

Most politicians are not ugly. They are usually decent looking in photos. So our President's face isn't ruining the walls, which may be implied from my words above. What I really mean is exactly what I said in this line,"No offense, but it gets kind of boring staring at a guy's face all the time while in the school hall during my primary and secondary and JC days."

And don't we want the younger generation to be interested in politics? So shouldn't we learn from European countries, which are generally wealthier and cooler than Taiwan? I want to see a Singapore President's picture hanging beside the picture of her First Gentleman( 'cos there's the First Lady). Or maybe not: Singapore doesn't have a First family.




So now back to the first topic. How can I be so sure that what we see today in our local media, or even in the overseas media like CNN, isn't biased?

I can only tell, if I can see what this horrible sounding "propaganda" is telling the people in Communist countries, and compare them with our media.

Why are there so few available media from the "rogue regimes"? If what they say are very biased or false, we'd just read them and have a good laugh, dismissing them as stupidity or crap.

Why aren't we allowed to see examples of modern propaganda from North Korea, other than a few excerpts quoted from North Korean media? We all know that reading only a line or two, or even just a summary, may not give the exact same information or idea as reading the actual articles.

We don't know enough, yet we judge everything. Half-truths and mass idiocy can push our mindsets according to the direction of everyone else.

Once you start asking questions about everything like a kid, things start to appear darker than they once were.

Rant 71 / Everyone Else Is Generally Regarded As The Largest And Most Diverse Ethnic Group In The World

And thus my long term cool turkey treatment begins.

The latency in my room, like any other rooms in the hostels there, is like shit. I have tried 5-7 times over a period of 4 days, playing Natural Selection, which also allows me to see my ping in real time.

The problem is not the overall speed, but the consistency. Downloading, thus, is completely fine. When my ping can jump from 200+ to 600+ to 900+ to 2000+ in 5seconds all the time, there aren't many online games for me to choose from anymore.

It is said that within the campus the whole network uses optical fibres, making the latency between computers in the campus negligible. It doesn't make any difference for me though, since I do not play DoTA, which is the game that everyone in Singapore plays when it comes to LAN gaming.

This simply makes my quitting games an easier task. Easier, but not easy. Even though I cannot play online games, I can still play single-player games like Civilization IV, Elder Scrolls IV and Chrono Cross. Now this may sound like there's no difference, but I can safely say the levels of boredom between multi-player gaming and going solo have an immense difference. Unless it's PS2 games.





After today's experience, I find incredible what XL can laugh at. My comments, which are rarely laughed at by the rest of the gang, seem to be so humorous to her. I find that I no longer understand females anymore. Her constant laughter was such a revelation to me.

At first, I was thinking what you're probably thinking right now, that she was only being polite. Now, it cannot be false, polite laughter if you have to wipe your eyes while laughing, can it?

So, the problem here is, how far can I go? I simply don't know. When I talk to guys, I know the different limits of the different types of guys. I know the different levels of vocabulary between the many types of guys, and this helps to limit my words to those that they can understand.

After all, if you have to explain a joke, it loses its flavour right away.

For certain groups of guys, there is no limit. Anything is fine, and nothing is offensive. For the more studious types, joking about anything that have sexual connotations will only leave them confused.

But this is wrong. The fact that she laughs that hard makes me believe that she doesn't have much contact with my brand of "only occasionally funny" humour. This implies that she doesn't have much contact with many guys ( may not be true to your standards though), and it may be that she was desperate for love, and he was the first to ask her out.

I do all I can do prevent that from happening to myself, but it's easier said than done.

Every man has a different standard, and no one can truly say another's is inferior to his.





I am totally horrified that Sgt Bala (a nickname of a player in Natural Selection) is now in charge of training the Singapore NS players. For goodness' sake, all he can really do well is shoot! So far the strategies he has spoken of, and those he has used are so basic! The local players should really spend some time playing with bad pings over at the US servers! Those guys are pro compared to them, and the US players aren't even competitive.

But then, with the sort of players we have here, any strategy we use will encounter severe limitations.

I guess Sgt Bala is the best we can come up with, but I hope someday they will learn to stop ramboing and ninja something. The Jer's Public Server is pretty bad too. Twice I built a ninja phase gate next to a hive without getting killed, only to find that the comm wasn't looking at us.

It was until I typed "PHASE!" into team chat that he finally beaconed everyone back to base and made everyone phase in. But it was already too late and the aliens were already there waiting for us.

Dreadful.

The aliens in Jer's are completely shit. Whenever I play as an alien, I MUST secure a hive or else no one will, and after 5 mins, they will start saying "gg" because we have no 2nd hive. Basically, even if I do that, the aliens there never win, unless some of those better HK players are in the team.

Wherever did the good HK players go?

The amazing thing is, even though the US public servers are so pro compared to the local NS scene, the competitive players are godlike compared to them.

Competitive NS is a whole new world compared to public games. Marines trying to block escaping fades is the norm. Hiving in 4 mins is the norm. Cooperating skulks is the norm.

In public servers, marines running from fades is the norm. Hiving in 5mins is the norm. Solo skulk feeders is the norm.

I'll never touch competitive NS.








Talking is hard work.

Rant 70 / I Suck At Life So Much, Death Runs Away From Me!

School starts next week. The real thing, not the dry all-guys-only sort that I've been having the last few months. I foresee many problems, worries and much anxiety waiting for me in the near future.

The problems are already starting. I had forgotten that it's Friday today, until my bro came back this evening. I was planning to check in to my hostel room on Friday, pack up on Sat evening and stay there on Sunday night. But no, by the time I realized it is Friday today, it was already 5.45pm, and the hall office closes at 5.15pm.

How's that for a good start?

Found an interesting article on wikipedia today that'd make a good conversation starter:

You are to choose between 2 identical envelopes, and after choosing, you're to be given a chance to change your choice until you're satisfied. One envelope contains twice as much money as the other, and you are allowed to keep the money in the envelope you choose.


If you have read the previous rant, you should be thinking that it will probably be better to switch.


But the problem isn't in whether switching is a good move.

Let's put it this way: here's the average expected value of the other envelope, taking what you're holding to be $A. There is a 50% chance of there being $2A in the other envelope, and 50% chance of it having $0.5A.

0.5 X 2A + 0.5 X 0.5A = A + 0.25A = (5/4)A

So it will definitely be better to switch.

And after switching, wouldn't the logical step be switching to the first envelope again, since what you're holding is now the $A?

And wouldn't it be perfectly right to switch envelopes indefintely, or till your fingers grow numb, whichever occurs first?



So the real problem is: which step is the wrong step that causes this paradox?



Stop here and think a little before scrolling down. Spoils the fun if you don't.









The mistake lies in the calculation of the average expected value. These 2 values, 2A and 0.5A, are not constants and are from 2 different situations and should not be used in the same equation. A is smaller in the first situation and larger in the second.





It is possible to make things even harder by allowing the player to see the contents of the envelope of his choice before switching one last time.

Now that the value of A is a constant, what now?














Just finished Shin Megami Tensei (SHT): Devil Summoner. I'm now able to play Devil Mode, which is harder. The game was not exactly easy to beat, but the story was interesting enough to keep me going. There isn't any good incentive to get the secrets, so I didn't bother to get the most fantastic monster in the game.

It was an interesting experience to see all the monsters, some of them old, many of them new. This is unlike the last 3 games( Nocturne, Digital Devil Saga 1 and 2) in the series which many have criticized their overuse of the same models for most monsters. For example, Ganesha never changed from its blue unarmed elephant model in the last 3 games, but in this game, they use its Buddhist counterpart named Shouten, which is a mace-wielding beige elephant.

The one thing I dislike was the lack of emotions in the story compared to DDS 1 and 2. As always, the main protagonist is an unemotional mute, but in the DDS 1 and 2 the supporting characters are full of emotions that differ from each other ( one is a humanist, another is a merciless man full of fury, and another is the unfeeling logical type and etc). Over here, the only memorable emotion from the supporting casts is when they express their support for you.

Another thing is that the designers didn't explain everything about the story.

One question I still have is: which generation of Raido was the last boss?

Another question is: Why exactly did they send Rasputin to this age?


Overall, it was a fine game, good graphics and music, but its storyline makes it inferior stuff compared to the 2 DDS.

The ending is cliché too.






Now I'm finally back to Wild Arms 4. After 2 discouraging experiences using the last 2 faulty copies I bought, I have finally got my hands on a copy that's guaranteed to work. Woot!

The graphics are decent, considering that it isn't all that new. But after playing in real-time combat in Devil Summoner so intensively for the last few weeks, the turn-based combat here feels rather slow. And puzzle! The Wild Arms series always include puzzles, unlike the SHT series where everything is straight forward. At least the combat comes at a more relaxed pace, unlike in SHT where there's combat every 5 steps or so.

I don't see any way for me to finish this game before school starts, and after school starts I will need to remove my interest for gaming. It is probable that I will never finish this game, though I wish otherwise.

Rant 069 / A Bile Colour For The Colourful Threat Level System Will Be Useful When The Guys At The Top Have "Gut Feelings" About The Current Risks

It is interesting to note how we tend to persuade ourselves that we can affect the future in situations that we have no control over.

An obvious example is in gambling. Gamblers often have this habit of finding illogical ways to improve their future (in terms of winning probabilities), which can often also be pure superstition, like avoiding being touched on the shoulders, or avoiding books, or somehow having lucky numbers somewhere in their possessions.

There is absolutely no link between having 8 lucky charms in your 8 pockets and the probability of winning in a game of roulette. Even so, it is fascinating to learn about the ways with which people try to improve their luck.

A more counterintuitive example would be trying to play on the slot machine that has not any winner for the longest time among the machines in a casino. Indeed, it is a seductive notion that such a machine would provide the greatest chance of a jackpot, or at least, a win.

This is wrong, because of 2 reasons.

First, such an improvement would be significant only when a large number of tries is involved. For player with a limited budget like mine, the number of tries will not exceed 100. This is not a large number. Even if it does exceed 100, it is very likely that the credits in that machine is very cheap, maybe 1 credit per cent. In this case, the payout will be very low.

Of course, if one was able to afford it, one could search for such a lot machine, and spend a whole day pressing the "Go!" button continuously. Ouch!


Second, even if previous players have been losing on a particular machine for 10000 consecutive rounds, the chance of hitting a jackpot for the 10001th round will still be the same.

At times, one may find that this second reason seems to be wrong. For example, you leave a machine after a long losing streak. Another player takes your seat in front of that machine and hits the jackpot. You think that you have just missed your chance, but that is not so.

Modern slot machines rely on a random number generator that produced a different combinations every second. What truly matters is the moment you play it. Therefore in this case, even if you had stayed for another round, the moment you press the button may not be the same as the one the winner used.

Poorly programmed machines have a tendency to repeat their combinations, but this a rare since it is easy to program a generator with periods that can last the whole lifetime of the Universe.


Like in coin-flipping, just because the last 4 flips have been heads doesn't make the 5th flip more likely to be tails.






Here's an extremely fascinating problem I found on wikipedia.

A thoroughly honest game-show host has placed a car behind one of three doors. There is a goat behind each of the other doors. You have no prior knowledge that allows you to distinguish among the doors. "First you point toward a door," he says. "Then I'll open one of the other doors to reveal a goat. After I've shown you the goat, you make your final choice whether to stick with your initial choice of doors, or to switch to the remaining door. You win whatever is behind the door." You begin by pointing to door number 1. The host shows you that door number 3 has a goat.

Do the player's chances of getting the car increase by switching to Door 2?

Everyone knows that in the circumstances described above, the chance of getting the car is 50/50, so changing doesn't matter.

Unfortunately, everyone's wrong here.

The fact is that a player doubles his chance of winning a car when he switches his choice, ie, by switching, his chance of opening the right door becomes 2/3.

Incredibly counterintuitive! The explanation is in the article, but I figured that if you're reading this you are probably are too lazy to click that link anyway.

The reason is simple. Here, we assume that the player will definitely switch his choice, and the host will definitely open a door that has a goat ( obviously he won't open the door with the car and still ask if the player wants to switch his choice of goat - "So will it be this old goat with the white hair or that old goat with the brown hair for you, sir?").

Scene 1: Man chooses A (Car), B (goat) opened, final choice is C (goat)

Scene 2: Man chooses A (Car), C (goat) opened, final choice is B (goat)

Scene 3: Man chooses B (goat), C (goat) opened, final choice is A (car)

Scene 4: Man chooses C (goat), B (goat) opened, final choice is A (car)

Scene 5: Man chooses B (goat), C (goat) opened, final choice is A (car)

Scene 6: Man chooses C (goat), B (goat) opened, final choice is A (car)

3 is identical to 5, ditto for 4 and 6, because each door has an equal chance of being chosen at first by the player.

Amazing how things aren't always what they seem to be, isn't it?



In a casino, it is possible to win in the short term, but the odds in the long term are always in favour of the house. "House's advantage" isn't called that for nothing.


Another fascinating observation is how the dealers can do what they do ( dealing, counting, paying, etc) perfectly and never make a mistake. Do they have shifts with frequent breaks, or are these people really androids?