Rant 043 / Snipers for Dummies

Introduction

Snipers are a well-known health hazard. The Ministry of Health has denounced the use of snipers in everyday life, and has introduced a heavy fine on the employment of snipers in the private sector.

Identifying a sniper

A sniper is a person specializing in shooting from a concealed position, and usually from longer ranges than a regular person. To define the term "sniper" clearly, one must pay close attention to what this description says.

A "position" can mean many things. In dictionary.com, "position" has 18 definitions. Therefore, in this context, the most logical choice would be "a place or location". From this, we can derive the meaning of "position of concealment" as a hidden location.

Let me explain this with a simple metaphor. If you hide a gun in your pants, it is a concealed weapon. It's location, your pants, would be the hidden location, or the "position of concealment". Understand?

In most cases, snipers are male. Thus, men who are good at shooting from hidden places, with a longer range than the regular guys, are snipers.

But there aren't many things a man can shoot with. Obviously, the "shooting" must be a reference to pissing, or ejaculation. Since the penis is usually hidden by an underwear, pants or vagina, logically, the groin area must be the concealed location. Adding these to the above incomplete definition of the sniper, we can now see that a sniper is "a man who can piss and ejaculate further than most guys".

So how do you know who can "piss and ejaculate further than most guys"? There are many ways. Use your imagination.

If you're a man, it can't be too hard to observe the ranges of other men. I mean, we do see lots of other grown men do that to other men in the public washrooms, so it can't be that difficult.

If you're a woman, it's so easy I don't see the need to go any further.

Dealing with a sniper who is hunting you

So now you can tell a sniper from the other guys. How do you avoid being hunted( and found) by one?

Snipers are known to finish their jobs with one shot by using "head-shots". This is done by shooting at the heads of their victims. Getting urine or semen on your head may not be lethal, but it will definitely humiliate you and give you nightmares for the rest of your life. Unless you're female or gay, in which case getting "facials" may be fine for some of you.

Avoiding this may be easier than you think. Simply cover your head with something waterproof, like a plastic bag. Breathing may become harder, but it sure is better than breathing piss and come. For best results, tie it around your neck so that he cannot pull it off.

Counter-sniping

A very effective way to deal with snipers is to snipe him before he does you! But simply shooting at his head is not enough to stop a well-trained sniper; a shot in the eye or mouth is necessary. This will blind him or choke him respectively, effectively disabling him.

However, one must take note the sexual preferences of the sniper before shooting at his mouth, lest you fail at disabling him and even excite him further. This may be very hard to accomplish in the various likely situations, so avoid shooting at his mouth if his eyes are open.

Aftermath

It is recommended that you report any snipers you find to the Ministry of Health. Health officials will then use the appropriate procedures to maintain public hygiene.

Myths

1. Snipers do not breed in stagnant waters.
2. Peter North is not a sniper.
3. Your dad may be a sniper.
4. "Facials" are not hygienic.
5. Your mom.
6. Sniping is delicate work. One uncontrolled shiver of orgasmic joy and your shot will be off.
7. There are no studies to confirm the dermatological benefits of "facials".

This is inferior to the previous post! But then, I'm only practising.

Rant 042 / Using Pontianaks As An Anti-Plagiarism Tool for Dummies

Plagiarism is a serious matter. When someone plagiarizes you, it is very hard to prove unless both of you have evidences of when each of you completed the work(s). The original author must take take serious actions against the offender. It is perfectly legal for you to murder that person, or make use of whatever advanced weaponry you have.

To prevent plagiarism/piracy, make use of the copyright laws. It is imperative that you also have the support of other societies/people, as a back-up. I recommend a bomoh. Failing that, you can also attempt to befriend a pontianak. The search may be somewhat difficult, but if you have read enough books written by Russell Lee, you can easily find one anywhere in South-East Asia.

According to Malay folklore, a pontianak is an undead woman, and is usually unfriendly. Friendly undeads usually appear only in documentary films like "Casper the Friendly Ghost". Therefore, in the case of a pontianak, one must never forget who one is dealing with - a woman.

A pontianak usually appears as a beautiful woman, often using a cheap perfume that smells like frangipani( everyone knows good perfumes don't smell like any flowers they've ever smelled). Therefore, you can easily identify pontianaks as "beautiful women wearing cheap perfumes". (Alternatively, you can interpret these clues in such a way that concludes that "women with body odour that smells like frangipani" are pontianaks. Either way, they fit the clues given perfectly.)

Such a description fits many women, and in Singapore, a majority can be found in Geylang. Actually I'm not sure if all of them wear perfumes at all, but I assume at least some of them do. And among these women who wear perfumes, the beautiful ones are pontianaks. This is getting eerie.

However, readers must take note that "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder". Thus, all of them are beautiful to one man or another. Therefore, all women who wear cheap perfumes are pontianaks.

Now you see how easy it is to find pontianaks?

The difficulty really lies in the befriending. According to Malay folklore, pontianaks stay in the mortal plane to seek revenge and terrorize villages, making them terrorists. These undead terrorists are truly the worst breed of them all, simply because only a sharp object driven into the back of their necks can stop them.

By simple deductions, you will realize that if Osama bin Laden had sent these terrorists for the operations on Sep 11, he wouldn't have lost so many of his men's lives. This would have been one of the most cost-effective operations of the entire history of Terrorism.

And you must not forget these women only terrorize villages. Of course, they also eat babies and harm pregnant women. But if you're not a "fucking baby", or pregnant, or staying in a village, you are perfectly safe.

Now, to befriend terrorists, you may find financing them to be one of the easiest way. One clue as to how to do so is that pontianaks feed on blood and intestines. These can be obtained in your local wet market, if you live in Singapore. Any butcher would sell you intestines and maybe blood, but it may not come cheap.

Before you ask, yes, the intestines should be fine even if the rectum/anus/asshole/butt cheeks are still attached. I mean, if they can only afford to use cheap perfumes, they can't possibly be too picky with food.

After treating her/them to such a feast, you should find her/them more approachable. You see, people are like that: if you give them something good for free, they instantly respond with gratitude. It's an inborn instinct. At that stage, feel free to chat her/them up, ask for her/their numbers or anything you'd do to makes friends with her/them.

Now, you have a solid defense against plagiarism. Once you discover a plagiarist, wait for him/her to have a baby, then inform your friend, the pontianak. If not, kidnap him/her and bring him/her to a village. The best scenario would be if the plagiarist is a fucking baby, in which case the work is already done for you. But very likely, the plagiarist won't be one, cos he/she wouldn't have the guts to steal your work in the first place.



Finally, a post which I think should be entertaining!

Rant 041 / Your Ass Is So Big, You Get Vertigo When You Sit Down

Too much Jesus Juice

Want to buy a vowel?

Luke: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

School approaches. I sense great amounts of work. There will be no escape. You can run but you cannot hide. You can cover your face but the fists of Reality will hit you still.

And so it comes. The final days, drawing near. Everything that were buried comes to live again. The time will come when I live only for the weekends. Again.

So it had been. So it will be again. History has an uncanny knack of repeating itself. Never exactly the same, to be sure, but you can definitely tell someone out there has a fetish for the "Replay" button.

Time moves on, with or without me. I type this tonight, trying to drag time with me. Trying to slow things down so that I won't see tomorrow until I'm ready. But I can never ready! Something always needs to be done. Something always needs to be prepared. Something.

Time slows when you do nothing. Or so you'd think. Years of propaganda have paid off. Now I tell you that no matter what you do, time never slows, and never reverses. You can throw a tantrum, watch paint dry, go hunting with Dick Cheney, watch water boil, but you can never force now to be now again.

Time is merciless. He kills what he kills.

Time killed my joy.

His minions, the dreaded clocks, are no less cold-blooded. Whilst dreaming my beautiful dreams, whilst sleeping my peaceful sleep, they push me unceremoniously back to the most terrifying facet of life: Reality.

Their force is unstoppable, not because it is strong, but because I know I cannot, I should not, stop it. I have no choice, but to face Reality in all its naked glory, fangs and all.

There is no alternative. Time has me firmly in his claws. His demonic features, twisted beyond redemption, are filled with sadistic glee as he shoves me forward to face what is deemed my future. He knows I want to stay right here and now, and there is not a thing that I can do to stop him.

There is no hopes of salvation in me to dash. I know there's nothing that can save me from its unbreakable grasp. All I can do is to surrender to his unceasing efforts, and brace myself for the impact.




A fatalistic approach to Time.

Rant 040 / In The Land Of The Blind, The One-Eyed Man Gets All The Chicks

There are those who believe kids these days are growing up too fast.

There are those who believe kids these days are getting too much work.

There are those who believe kids these days don't get a proper childhood.

And, of course, there are always those who believe kids these days should just drop dead.


Where did they learn all those bad language anyway? I remember when I was in primary school I learnt the phrase " What the Hell.." and "Where the Hell.." and kept using it till one day in a class visit to some boring place when I pointed at a dried sea cucumber and loudly asked," What the Hell is that?" And the guide, probably annoyed by my efforts in making my language more colourful, replied," That's not from Hell; that's from the sea."

Humiliating as it was, it did serve to remind me that grownups prefer to hear good ol' vanilla English. And it worked all the way till the Army, in which we were taught a completely contradictory lesson: that people want the foulest, crudest and most disgusting language from you, be it Mandarin, English, Hokkien, Malay, Tamil or Punjabi.

So we learnt all sorts of exciting new phrases to enliven the atmosphere, and through the process, gained new insights into the different cultures of our new friends.

But back to children. I once met a 10-year-old kid who's married with 3 children, all because his birthday falls on the 29th of Feb. He still lives with his papa and momma.

But back to children. We must admit that times have changed, just like the size of Big Mac. Once upon a time the burger was too big for any Asian mouths. These days, it's just... puny.

But some changes are pointless. Like the piano lessons all parents want their kids to attend. How many of them will still remember the things they've learnt when they truly need it in the future? Whether it is to play for bands or choir, or to impress girls, they will most likely have forgotten most of the things that are necessary by the time they are given the chance to use it.

And the easy access to pornography does nothing beneficial for any children. And we all know how some kids do look up such filthy stuff even when they're only in primary school. Or, in the case of countries with TV porn, even younger than that.

Some negative effects of such early exposure are already visible. Women have complained that their ex-boyfriends change their positions very frequently during sex, just like the actors do in the bongo films.

But of course, there exist some parents who do not expect anything from their children. These parents are satisfied when their kids graduate from any school. It is perfectly acceptable, to these parents, for the children to put no efforts whatsoever in finding a job after graduation.

They may be in the minorities, though I'm not too sure about that. In any case, kids who do not grow up will learn to do so some day. If they want to survive anyway.

I cannot deny I'm no expert in kids. I'm not goods with kids. Kids fear me. It seems I have this Children-Repulsion Aura which is always present around me. I may smile at them or something, but generally the response I get is not encouraging.

I really like it, since I get annoyed by noisy children easily. Like my neighbour's grandchildren who play at the lift lobby every evening. It's not really their fault for being noisy; most of us were noisy at that age. Probably the genes.

But to hear their shouts and loud laughter while I'm busy concentrating on my games, especially HOMM V, sometimes ruins my train of thoughts. It is merely annoying, but I believe it'd get useful someday.

There was once when a TV actor admitted during an interview that his way of dealing with noisy children on night flights is to throw his pillow at them. It works most of the time, he claims. And when it doesn't work, he stands up and shouts at them. Works perfectly. I've got to try that the next time the noise gets on my nerves.

Rant 039 / Fatal Papercuts

I realized my blog contains very little details of the current matters in my life. This seems to be different from what most blogs are doing, which is to be a diary for the public to see. Even so, it is not my intention to tell anyone much about my real life. I use this name in most online communities I join and I prefer to keep my true identity separate from this. Whenever you see this nick(Senor Hybrido or just simply Hybrido) in any forums/games, it's most likely me.


I also know that there are numerous grammatical errors in my rants. My englan iz bad, okya? mY taipeeng n spairleeng r teh suX! foUrgeev mee!! tis iz haw yoo spiao spairleeng rite?

The first step to change, is to admit there is a problem. When I state that I have a problem, believe me, I am acknowledging that the problem is there and I am willing to change it. What I worry about is that there are problems I have not admitted to, problems I do not notice, or unconsciously deny.

This is very plausible because there have been several cases before. No details will be given here because the past is the past and what needs to be remembered is there they were there and they were solved.

But these problems were found only by fluke. Usually it is from some comments made in some random conversations by friends, or my observations of how others behave in situations I have little experience in.

One problem, though, I find extreme difficulty in changing. One of the greatest sins of all times, Sloth is indeed a widespread problem in the world today. If laziness does not exist, the world would have advanced a hundred times faster than it had. And I wouldn't be here whining about myself being lazy.

I figured that one solution to my laziness is to have more motivation to do what I need to do. Now the problem is there's little that motivates me. Hmm...

And next comes the part about how people would admit there mistakes and not willing to change it. They try to forget that they have a problem and will only admit to it only when they're left with no choice. And they try to get it out of their minds as soon as they can.

I do not know if I am doing this too. I hope someone tells me if I do. It gets onto people's nerves when your problem is as obvious as having it tattooed onto your face, and you do nothing about it.

One major problem I happen to think of at the moment is punctuality. Or the lack of it, anyway. It is so common among the people I know, it appears to be some kind of tradition or native custom to me. It is almost like it'd be rude to show up at the time that was agreed upon. In fact, people actually expect others to be late. When I organize outings, I know no one will arrive early. Few will be punctual. And most will be late, be it 5 minutes or 1 hour.

This is not right! There is no logic in being late all the time! What would be the point of agreeing on the time then? The time agreed upon will become the time that shall be considered as "too early" and that only coming after that time will be considered as honouring the verbal agreement?

Where is the sense?

In fact, people are known to arrive late intentionally because they know others will be late. So now, we approach the situation where people will arrive late because they know everyone else will arrive late and they hate waiting. And the cycle goes on until someday, it'll be customary to arrive 1 day after the agreed time. Then people will see this as an unbreakable, time-honoured, ancient tradition that must be respected.

That seems impossible, of course. But given enough time, the word "impossible" is meaningless.

Being late is not supposed to be acceptable, unless you have a very good reason for it. Imagine if one day, you got hit by a car and starts to bleed in your lungs. You arrive in the hospital to discover the only doctor who's available is busy taking a dump. He'll be arriving shortly when he's done. Meanwhile enjoy your stay in the A&E. Oh, don't mind the blood filling your lungs, we'll be sticking a tube in there to pump it out.





With great power comes great responsibility. But with great responsibility doesn't always comes great power!

Rant 038 / Soylent Green Is An Essential Part Of Any Healthy Diets

Every death is significant. In multi-player games or real life, every single death matters.

In games, everytime someone dies while they're doing something, a blow is struck to the team. Its effects may not be visible early on, but if you are able to see the big picture, you will find that your team has just lost something.

In DoTA, the effects of each death is usually visible. Towers that may be far from the very mobile frontline suddenly become the frontline. Doubtless, someone will be there as quickly as they can to protect the towers, but the damage would have been done, and the next time the frontline is pushed back again, you'd have lost that 1 second that you may need to kill that last creep attacking it. Usually this 1 second is negligible, but in certain matches, every hit, every second, counts.

And in FPS games like Natural Selection, this is even more true. Each death makes it more likely that the team will lose the important spots of the map.

Like in the Marines, other Marines may not see the effects of their deaths straight away, but the Commander can always see that strategic position that he could have fortified if only that cockeyed player didn't die. A Marine who dies building a Resource Tower is not only feeding the Alien player 3 resources, but also loses the Resource Tower to the Aliens.

And on the Kharaa(Alien) side, since each hive only spawns 1 player per 10s, and the team starts with only 1 hive, each death is a bigger blow to the team. While the Marines may have up to 3 Portals within 5 mins, Aliens will never have their 2nd hive up until the 6th min, usually.

And each time a higher lifeform dies, it is a huge blow to the team. Every higher lifeform requires resources(or money, in a sense) to evolve, and its death means the player will be respawned as the basic Skulk again. And for each death of any lifeforms above the Gorge, the effects can be visible straight away.

The Lerk who's gassing the Marines dies, and suddenly all the Marines are harder to kill since they're no longer being "softened" by the gas.

A Fade, the main killing machine, lowers the killing power of the team drastically with its death.

And an Onos, needless to say, must never die. With its 950hp and 950 armour with Carapace upgrade, it was never meant to be killed. A death of an Onos may cause the team to lose, since it is the meat shield of the team. With the biggest hitbox (surface area where it can be hit), it is meant to draw enemy fire with the sheer ease of hitting it.



And we mustn't forget real life. Truly, all deaths are regrettable. Regardless of the social status of the deceased, it is always a sad event for the world.

Every life has a story and none of them are ever "just some story". These epics are more complex, more unique than any ever written by human hands.

Take for example, your great-grandfather. It doesn't matter who you are.

You may have been told he's some drunkard who died from pneumonia decades ago and basically not much else. You'd be surprised if anyone who knows him better tells you his story.

It is entirely possible he may have been, once upon a time, a salt smuggler in China. Yes, salt was once a valuable commodity that enjoyed it own black market. That would certainly make an incredible story, what with the secret societies and brotherhoods in those days. Who knows, maybe your classmate's granddad was one of your great-grandfather's "brothers".

Or maybe he was a Western pharmacist. Back in those days, that would mean he was well-educated, rich, and knew Latin! But then he probably ended up being a victim of the Cultural Revolution in China. Which explains how he became the drunkard in the end.

Hell, he may be a martial artist, a magician, or the village idiot. Who knows? Though, I'd have to admit, being the village idiot would make his life story much duller than anticipated.

But this is only an example! Once, you may have seen him as "just another guy from back then". In the future, your descendants will see you the same way. Therefore, in the end, everyone is "just another guy". This means everyone's story is an incredible journey not even Tolkien's Lord of the Rings can beat.

Since only a very tiny fraction of all people actually write their own biographies, think of how many masterpieces are being lost each day! All those useful knowledge, experience and wonderful memories, disappears with their last breaths. What's left is the bits and pieces of their lives residing in other people's memories, which will, too, eventually fade away. A heart-rending thought.





The introduction portion of the movie "Idiocracy" does have a point. In a world like ours where the successful people aren't having children, and the poor are mating like rabbits, our world, in the future, may turn out to be the way as the film describes; a world where the President of your country is the 4 times World Wrestling Champion and WWE Superstar. Whoa, just imagine someone like Booker T being the US President... Whoa!

CAN YOU DIG IT... SUCKAAAAAA!!!!!!

Rant 037 / Everything Gets Better When You're Drunk, Except Your Driving

There is a 0.1% cohort who doesn't experience Death. This mysterious 0.1% includes several ethnic groups such as undeads, annoying in-laws, and the best DoTA players ("OMFG!! I HIT HIM 7 FUCKIN TIMES AND HE JUST WON'T FUCKIN DIE!!! WTFOMGBBQHAX!!!!").

But this isn't answering the question. Answering the question is not my intent. :P




Sometimes, some laws, some rules, are just illogical. Take for example, the minimum age for buying alcohol in Singapore: 18 years old. Then the minimum age for a guy to go for NS: 16.5 years of age.

So, a 17-year-old kid joins the army. His girlfriend leaves him while he's in basic training because she "met this guy who's such a good listener". During the course he gets bullied by the other recruits who are much older than him. Finally he gets out for a weekend and wants to drink it all off. Sorry dude, you're underage. But the minimum age for sexual intercourse is 16. So his friends bring him to a whore. Sorry dudes I don't know how to do it. I've never seen a porno film because I'm not 21 yet.

Of course, that's out of point. The point is that they're telling us that by 16.5 years old you're old enough to kill but not old enough to drink! Where's the sense in that? I kill better when I'm drunk, for goodness' sake! Especially with a car!

But sometimes we are given no alternatives. The law is the best we can make, so far, in a world like ours. A world where the right thing to do isn't always the right thing to do. The right thing to do is to tell your girlfriend she's getting fat when she really is. That's honesty! That's the correct way! Or is it?

It's like trying to build a room within a sphere of space with straight walls. It will never be a perfect fit, but if we can just make those walls as small as we can, we may be able to build an almost spherical room. We will just have to amend and refine the rules.

Of course, many logical things can seem illogical, if you can see them from the right angle. Take the hospital for example. You aren't allowed to smoke there, but morphine's fine. Or computers. We use computers to email, instead of writing on papers, so that we won't kill as many trees. If only you know how much pollution making computer parts causes. And the pollution from creating the electricity you're using.

But people only want to see what they want to see. That's one way Man can define reality. What they do not want to see simply stops existing. This may not seem right, but undeniably, so far so good.

In the end, I can only be sure of one thing: only the perceived truth is important, but it will always be a fragile world that we live in.



One sign of overwhelming piracy will be that more copies of softwares getting returned than are actually sold. In other words, negative sales.

There is nothing wrong with gay marriage. I say all homosexuals have the right to suffer as we do!

A succubus is a demon that sucks the life out of healthy men. I was once a healthy man. (This works better if you're married)




I admit that some of the things here have appeared elsewhere. But if they aren't pissing anyone off, I'm cool with it.




If anyone reads the Dark Tower series by Stephen King, and reaches the end of the last book, I recommend that you stop reading after the epilogue, when the author tells you to stop. It's a beautiful ending if you just keep the last scene outside the Tower as the end of the story, but the "real" ending after the epilogue may really ruin your experience. Seriously. But the curiosity will probably push you to flip the pages, like I did. And then, you will regret it, like I do.

But there are those who say that good endings are blasphemy. Or something like that. I find good endings more satisfying. Everytime I find a bad ending where the main character(s) die, I think " Bugger just want to make more money by making half-assed sequels." The best sort of ending for the author would be those that makes the story start all over again. Doesn't give the warm and fuzzy feeling but you can take it as an ending, or not.

Right now in the series titled " A Song of Ice and Fire", half a dozen "main characters" have already died. I'm almost confused about who the hero is supposed to be. LOL!

Suddenly, some bad guys don't seem so bad anymore, but some good guys are turning out to be bad. For example, in the first book, the guy I took for the "hero" of the series dies at end. And the supposed advisor and friend he has turn out to be a bad guy who can be bought by the highest bidder. And later I find that this guy isn't really as bad as I thought- he's not a pawn, but is playing the game in a totally different way from the others!

This series is the best series I have ever read. The story is incredible and I couldn't stop reading till I find that I had to read the same paragraphs 2-3 times before I understood what I was reading.

And unlike the Wheel of Time series, where all the women eventually turn out to think and talk alike in many ways, characters in this series are unique. Yes, you will be disappointed when that guy you were rooting for dies suddenly, or the villain who really pissed you off turn out to be a better guy than you thought! But that's exactly what makes it so unpredictable, so different from other books in the fantasy genre. And everything that is mentioned in the book are important! All the small little details you'll probably forget later on will come back and make you think " Hey isn't this guy mentioned somewhere earlier?"

But if you want to read something less complex, something about humanity, the Sword of Truth is a pretty good series too! It's all about the human spirit, as some reviewers say. It doesn't have as much magic as Wheel of Time but it makes up for it with the possibility that it will touch you if you're really deep into the book.

And if you want to be touched to such a degree that you will weep, I suggest the Runelords series. The first book is ownage in terms of its ability to touch your heart. The rest aren't as good as the first book but are still pretty good.

The author did attempt to use the same trick in the later books but the first will always be the saddest. The series may seem to have ended at Book 4 but in fact, Book 6 is coming out soon! Thank goodness! The end of Book 4 was impressive, but not truly satisfying.

And 3 years ago, it was announced that a movie was going to be made from this series. Unfortunately it didn't seem to go too well. But the movie rights have been sold to Wasatch Films in August last year. Woot!

Of course, all readers of the fantasy genre want magic! More magic, more fun! The Wheel of Time is full of magic. Every book is full of magic because almost everything being done takes magic.

But the author lost his knack to impress gradually in the series. Book 1-3 were very good. Book 4-5 were pretty cool. After that it was just the addiction that kept me going. Book 9 did show his attempt to salvage the remains of his reputation, very nice, but Book 10 is crap all over again except for its end. He tried to make the later books very detailed, the way Tolkien did. But readers no longer want to read such useless details like the laces on the sleeves and such...

No, we want details that will help with the plot later, like whispers heard but ignored, and later turn out to be clues to who the true villains are. Like what George R. R. Martin is doing with the Song of Ice and Fire. It's true there isn't much magic in the series but the amazingly twisted plot more than offsets it.




Mixed nuts = acne pwnage


I have actually shrunk my appetite to 2 small meals a day! Yay! Now to the next step of the plan: exercise. Bleh...

Rant 036 / Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll whine about the lack of welfare

Recent discoveries made by me have led to my realization that I'm a deist when it comes to religions. On the side of philosophy in life, I'm an existentialist. I knew I couldn't be alone in my views but they're actually schools of philosophies!

What is Deism? Deism is a school of religious philosophy that basically says that there is really a supreme being(very similar to God) in charge of everything. Deists reject all religions that are based on any books.

While I disagree with certain points (afterlife, for example), there are many points in this school that I agree with, and some, I have already figured out before, and mentioned in previous rants. For example, I see reason as the tool, instead of faith, that helps us see the truths.

This sets deists apart from believers of Christianity and such, because they do not believe in religious miracles, prophecies and anything that is illogical. And what makes deists different from atheists is that atheists do not believe in any supreme being at all.

And existentialism? It is the view that every human being makes his or her own life's meaning. The existence of oneself is more important, more basic than any sort of meaning that may be ascribed to life. To make things short, Man defines reality.

Again, there are some points that I disagree with in this school(rejection of reason as the source of meaning, for one), but essentially what I see is that everyone creates his or her own purpose, and one is responsible for everything that is one decides to do. This is somewhat akin to Satanism in that Satanists(at least the Orthodox Church) believe that all people are their own God, and in the end, everyone only answers to themselves.




Honeydew milkshake is good! Especially if you make it yourself!



Studies have shown that 99.9% of all people who drinks water and breath air eventually contracts chronic Death.

Rant 035 / Memories are a burden. The future is a pain. Believers of these walk the road to damnation.

Everytime I play Warcraft 3: The Frozen Throne, I see the frozen isle in the opening menu, and I remember my time in World of Warcraft. I must admit I miss the time spent there with the last guild I joined.

WoW, to me, is unlike other games where I just want to have some fun and forget reality. No, WoW is a place where I socialised with strangers, similar to the purpose with which my many friends go to clubs and pubs.

In the many guilds I have joined, the best guilds are those that used internet voice chats, aka Ventrilo or Teamspeak. Typing works, but in many ways hearing the actual voice of your online friends is just better.

In terms of cooperation and teamwork, using such chat programs enhances the speed of coordination since the leader can make his commands known as soon as he speaks them. In term of social interaction, there is no way typed conversation can beat the human voice.

For those who have experience in the military or similar organizations, you will understand how it feels when we were in group raids. Every class had a class leader, with a commander above them. Everyone knows roughly what they should do, the class leaders brief their members on what to do before every part of the raids, and the commander is really in charge of the timing of the coordinations. Very much like a military exercise, albeit in a smaller scale.

It felt very good to accomplish something so big that it required all 40-60 of us, and there was pride to be gained when we know what we have achieved is not common in most servers (WoW has more than 50 servers, at least).

So we pushed on, going further and further till we were one of the best guilds in that server. We did not bother to boast about what we did because we know the best guilds above us were far far ahead. Not surprising given that one of the conditions to join some of these guilds was the ability to play non-stop throughout the day, i.e. you cannot have a job or anything. I'm not kidding here.

And on the social side, I met many people and made many friends in the game. Since the guild activities start only at night at 8pm, I spent much time farming for stuff and fooling around in the battlegrounds (places designed for teams of players to kill each other for various objectives).

There I met other people who were generally unable to spend enough time in the game to join the better guilds. These people were the true "casual gamers" who really have jobs or in school or married. By the way I consider myself somewhere between these "casual gamers" and the "hardcore gamers".

But the best times in terms of social interaction must be when I joined the American and Australian guilds. They were much friendlier, and were not there to achieve anything. They just wanted to have fun and talk. They made the game seem like a different sort of pub. They are much more willing to use the mic to chat, and do not hesitate as much as Singaporeans to post their photos in the guild forums.

The most interesting times I remember were the guild raids in which some members were drunk. It was hilarious to hear the crazy stuff they say, and they even sing! Sometimes, when not in the raids, some would even admit they were stoned(i.e. high)! And the enthusiastic ways they spoke of marijuana and cocaine were really an eye-opener for me.

In the end most of the U.S. and Aussie guilds I joined eventually died, when some of the members finally got jobs or were unable to pay for their monthly subscription (some of them were college students who could barely afford their leaky rented rooms). There were many reason why they left but these were the ones I found unique.

Not surprisingly, I find the notion of comparing Aussie guilds and Singaporean guilds irresistable. Singaporeans made the game feel like a job, especially during raids. It felt good to be so far ahead of the others, but they left out the fun factor in the process. In fact, members may get reprimanded for being absent frequently or screwing up the coordination after being there for more than once.

In the Australian guilds, however, raid wipes were more common. The leaders did not expect as much from everyone. Members were allowed to talk on the mic whenever they wished except during the more serious moments, like when fighting bosses. If anyone screwed up anything, saying sorry solved everything, unless the same person had been doing the same frequently.

There was little shouting or scolding there, and anyone who disliked the lax discipline were asked to leave. Finger-pointing was a practice that was frowned upon, and any sort of complaints or negative remarks as "whining", with the whiners being told to "shut the fuck up".

This is undeniably the opposite of Singaporean gamers, who have this unstoppable desire to point out the worst players when anything goes wrong. What Singaporean gamers refer to as whining is distinctly different from the Australian version in the fact that it does not include finger-pointing. Whenever failure occurred in the raids, Singaporean gamers know precisely what went wrong, and will not hesitate for a second to point it out.

Preparations for raids is completely necessary before raiding the more advanced dungeons. Singaporean guilds prepare by assigning each member to prepare what they need, except for the cheaper items or those that are easier to obtain.

In Australian guilds, preparations are made by the leaders in the forums asking for members to donate stuff to a "guild bank". The leaders would dole out the necessary items when they are needed. And amazingly, this worked! The more serious gamers would play all day to farm for stuff while those were did not/could not spend that much time playing would still be able to join the raids.

In this aspect, it is clear how much time each type of guild expects their members to spend online. And how different the people are.

And therein lies a major reason to why I quit WoW. The Singaporean server was fun at first, what with the pride and all. But eventually with all the demands I felt it became a second job to me, a job I paid money to work in.

The last straw came when the leaders decided everyone had to farm for several expensive potions/materials before every raid to the most advanced dungeon we went to. With the huge amount of farming, the "fun" totally vanished, and what was left was "work" and "boredom". The social interaction, pride and joy in receiving the amazing drops from bosses were no longer enough to offset the efforts I have to put in, and I decided to leave the guild.

But next came the reasoning that without the great raids that only the serious guilds have, it gets really boring after a while. It was like playing without a purpose if I quit all those large raids. Yes, social interaction was a major factor, but it was only half the game. The other half is "fun". So no raids = no purpose = no fun.

Plus I was going to quit anyway before school starts, so I quit the game completely. I did not even return to the guild forums after that, for fear that I would get pulled back into the game. You may be wondering why I would fear such a thing. It was because, somehow, the game was very addictive. This is a trait it shares with Lineage 2, and many other good MMORPGs.

In fact, during my time in Lineage 2, the only thing that kept me going was the addiction. I do not pretend to understand why I was addicted. All I know is that, often, I wondered why L2 players would pay money to suffer. It was a kind of suffering, to me, to run around the same area killing the same monsters repeatedly for days just to gain a measly level. Some people like this, but I do not. It was torturous, numbing and pointless.

Yet I went on playing for 2 years, just to hang out online with those guys in the clans and alliance. Perhaps I was interested in knowing people I have no experience with, people I know nothing about.

In the end, I left all that behind me. But months after, I feel the need to socialise with those people online again. People who do not judge you for what you do and do not expect much from each other. In other words, friendly people.

First time we killed Chromaggus, everyone was elated. All 60 of us. The dead included.

Illegal exploration of the unopened areas. Ah.. those were the days...

Scenery from another then unopened area. Could have made a good wallpaper, but alas, I didn't notice the pointer until later... LOL!

Pictures above are shrunk during the upload process to this blog.

Rant 034 / The Collection of Really Easy Recipes For Bananas And Bailey's

When you sin, sin with commitment. Never do it half-heartedly or you will ensure your own failure.

The best lie is the truth. One way this is true is when a lie is believed by everyone but the liar. When everyone believes something to be true, then it becomes a fact. Simple.

Nooo! My bananas will never ripen at this rate! Time to list a few simple banana recipes here to remind myself of how to prepare them. So that I won't have to eat sour bananas anymore.

From http://southernfood.about.com/od/bananarecipes/Banana_Recipes.htm :

An easy recipe for honey baked bananas.

INGREDIENTS:

• 6 bananas
• 2 tablespoons melted butter
• 2 tablespoons lemon juice
• 1/4 cup honey

PREPARATION:

Peel bananas, halve lengthwise and place in a shallow baking dish. Mix together melted butter, lemon juice, and honey. Brush honey mixture on bananas. Bake bananas at 325° for 15 minutes, turning 3 or 4 times.
Honey baked banana recipe serves 6 to 12.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Banana Milkshake Recipe

Ingredients

2 large banana, chopped

1 cup low-fat milk

cinnamon powder to taste.

Preparation

Blend all the ingredients in a blender until smooth. Pour into a large glass and serve. If desired, chill for 30 minutes to enjoy the Milkshake cold.

Variation

1. Substitute the milk with chocolate milk for yummy chocolate flavour.

2. If you are lactose-intolerant, substitute milk with soy bean milk.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bailey's Irish Cream. A ladies drink, it is said. Well, it's good, so I don't care. Since I'm listing recipes here, might as well have a few easy ones for Bailey's.

From http://www.drinksmixer.com/cat/1046/ :

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bailey's Dream Shake recipe

2 oz Bailey's® Irish cream
2 scoops vanilla ice cream
cream

Blend ingredients for 30 seconds.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bailey's Shake #2 recipe

1/2 cl Bailey's® Irish cream
10 cl milk
3/4 dl ice cream

Blend all ingredients together in a blender until smooth.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Coffee Fantasy recipe

1 1/3 oz Bailey's® Irish cream
1 1/3 oz cold coffee
4 oz milk

Pour all ingredients into a highball glass almost filled with ice cubes. Stir well, and serve.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mooing Irish Pepsi recipe

3 oz Bailey's® Irish cream
2 oz Pepsi® cola
2 oz milk

Stir ingredients together in a highball glass almost filled with ice cubes, and serve.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tummy Blower recipe

3/5 glass Bailey's® Irish cream
2/5 glass 7-Up® soda

Mix together and drink fast!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Irish Cream Special recipe

4 oz Bailey's® Irish cream

1 oz milk
10 ice cubes

>" src="http://www.drinksmixer.com/i/h/12.gif">

Put ice cubes into the bottom of a brandy snifter. Slowly pour bailey's irish cream over ice. Next pour in milk and then stir gently. Add more to taste. For chocoholics add hearshy's chocolate sauce.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Milkshake Cocktail recipe

1 1/3 oz Bailey's® Irish cream
4 oz milk
1 egg yolk
1 dash lemon juice
1 tsp sugar syrup

>" src="http://www.drinksmixer.com/i/h/12.gif">

Combine the Bailey's irish cream, milk, egg yolk, lemon juice and sugar syrup in a cocktail shaker half-filled with ice cubes. Shake well, strain into a cocktail glass, and serve.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One of the greatest lies of all time is that the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Just read your secondary school's Bio textbooks. The part of the human anatomy that is closest to the truth, if you really want to go from below, may be the pancreas. But what do you expect the ladies to do with your pancreas?

Rant 033 / Democracy gives stability created by instability

Chatting on MSN and chatting in real life have their pros and cons. If one prefers to chat on MSN, the person prefers to give others an impression of oneself that the person wants, and cares less for understanding the others. Vice versa for chatting in real life.

To chat on MSN, there is no way to show facial expressions. Therefore there is no way to tell if the person is lying, among many things. Neither can the opposite parties tell all these from the MSN chatbox alone.

But one is able to present an image that the person wants to show, simply by phrasing his words the right way. Since the others must rely on your words alone to sense your emotions, what you say and how you say it are of utmost importance.

In real life, you can say "fuck you" while grinning at something someone else said, and it is interpreted as a friendly response. In MSN, to represent grinning, ":D" is used. So in the box, one may type "fuck u :D" and this is easy to misunderstand. E.g. it can be translated as a serious curse, and the smile is really something to hide anger with.

Of course the person may use "lol" and this would be much harder to misunderstand. However "lol" is not accurate in the fact that this means one's laughing, while a grin is a much milder expression.

However, when "lol" is used often in such a erroneous way (i.e. everytime the person smiles, he uses "lol"to show his smile in the chatbox), he presents a very cheerful image to the other people talking to him. He may not even be amused at all in real life, but uses "lol" whenever he senses the other people are trying to joke or say something funny.

In real life, every facial expression is important. Words take a much less important role in conveying messages. Every twitch of the eye, every glance you give to others, everytime you turn your head to see something else, tells the others something. Lying here is a much harder art to master, compared to doing the same in MSN.

Of course I will not list what can be done to tell if someone is lying, lest someone tries to use it on me LOL! Life would be so boring then. Not that I'm a good liar. In fact I dislike lying. And I can't always tell when the better liars lie. Some people can lie so well, you think they are lying even when they tell the truth. Just pray someone like that don't end up as your boss...

Boss: "Hey this year I'm recommending that you receive a 12 month bonus! Happy?"
You: "Fuck you and your motherfucking lying mouth!"

Interpret as you wish.

Thus in real life, an observant person can tell how the other people really are. Unless one of the others turn out to be an accomplished liar, in which case you should never believe anything they say. Not even when they say they're not lying. Seriously. Unless it won't hurt at all to believe.

Back to the original point. In real life, whatever the average person tries to do, the image one presents will always be, at least, somewhat similar to one's true self. The longer you know that person, the closer you can get to the truth. The second applies to MSN too, though at a much slower rate.

But in MSN, the image the person tries to present may be totally different from what one really is. By phrasing everything that is typed in the desired way, any image is possible. A complete genious can present an image of a vulgar asshole. A grown man can be seen as a teenage boy. A permanently AFK person can seem like an antisocial, introverted prick (LOL). With ease, even a shy and quiet person can become a totally different person in MSN.

Another thing about MSN conversations is that one is able to add more depth to the chat by using online resources to search for information. Since not responding for minutes is a very common thing in MSN, you can do the same and google for stuff you don't know while pretending to be AFK.

This cannot be done in real life, unless you are sitting next to information sources like the library or computers. With the information, one can lengthen the conversation while in real life, such ignorance will result in pauses that may end the whole chat, or make one look shallow.

The best thing about MSN conversations is that the other party do not know what you are really doing. You may be cutting you toenails, eating with you hands and typing with your toes, or even digging your nose. As long as there is no webcam, the others will only imagine you sitting there nicely in your chair and smiling while typing your words. Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me honestly you know when the other person is scratching his ass while typing with his other hand. I dare you.

But in real life, you're honest. You are able to express laughter more effectively. You are able to manipulate your body language to hasten the conversation. You are able to exchange information much faster.

And most importantly, if you're close enough, you can touch the others. Not in the way those with vile minds would imagine, but things like hugs, pats on their shoulders and backs cannot be done effectively in MSN.

And by touching, a person is able to convey more feelings than can ever be said. A hug is infinitely more efficient than saying " I'm so sorry about what happened." A pat and a smile is much better than typing, "You can do it!"

It may seem obvious why anyone would prefer to chat in in MSN than in real life. But there are really many reasons to why chatting in MSN is better, to some people. And many reasons to why some prefers real life to MSN. Reasons that I have not included here.

Rant 032 / Cars Don't Kill People. The Medical Bills Do.

Monday. Not that it makes a big difference to me. Holiday ain't up yet. My games are running out.

I'm done with almost 2 of the campaigns in Supreme Commander and felt like trying out skirmishes with AI. I started a 3v3v2 match and my com started lagging badly in 2 mins. Gah!

This is bad! Plus both Dominions 3 and Europa Universalis 3 are boring compared to Supreme Commander! Too many details to watch all the time, whereas in Supreme Commander all I do is tech, tech, tech and SPAM SPAM SPAM!

Spam engineers at first and put like 20 engineers at each factory so that a Tech 3 bomber is produced from each factory every 2s!! That is SPEED!! Then in a few minutes all I need to do is swarm them all with my 200-300 bombers.

ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US. YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME!

But... but... my com can't take even a simple 3v3v2 match!! Grrr..... I guess I will have to settle with 3v3 or 2v2v2.


Zonealarm is an excellent firewall! It is sooooo strict, it blocks cookies from my email access. I.e. I can't access my email account with it switched on. It also eats up a hell lot of resources. Therefore I usually switch it off unless I access new websites or open files I download.


My games are running out! Don't you get it? I will have to do something else to entertain myself whilst lazing around at home unless my mum needs help at work!

Well, all the way till my books that I ordered online arrives, that is. But they are still at the "Processing" stage! That may take up to a WEEK!!! And if the delivery period of 2-4 days are included, the time is JUST TOO LONG!!! 9 DAYS MIN!!! OMFG!! LOL!! But what can I do??

Only one thing - STUDY!! Horrors of horrors! To study during the holiday period is blasphemy! It ruins the sacred freedom that is HOLIDAY! But what choice do I have? What alternatives? None! That's right, none!

Of course, there's the inferior alternative of talking to people on MSN ( I don't chat on the phone for many reasons). Inferior because everyone is busy these days.

The girls are busy even on weekends! At least the interesting ones. Jeez.. Some of them even go to school everyday during their week-long break. But girls are girls. They are always more diligent than guys, somehow.

In some mysterious way they are able to face their books all day, everyday, and not feel as if something is missing from their lives. It is almost like they don't mind to have their studies as the purpose of their lives.

What is the point of studying so hard that you miss everything else? What is the point of landing in a job with an obscene salary and takes up all the time in your life?

Until one day at your retirement age, with your rheumatism, bad back, weak heart and poor digestion, you start to think about having fun. But you can't do it anymore, because what seemed fun to you no longer seem the same anymore.

Some of your close pals are already dead. Some are living overseas. Your kids are working like the way you did. Your spouse is looking for a part time job. So what's left? All your money, all your pension, all your insurance. Cool.

That's where you start to go to China to look for your ancestors' village like your grandparents did before you. Spend time in some boring old shit and get cheated by the whole forsaken village that claims to be your cousins, uncles, aunts and blah blah blah.

But hell, you'll probably return home without the thought of being cheated crossing your mind. Not even when the guy who sold you the local fruits raised the price 3 times for the 4 times you asked for the price. 'Cos you couldn't hear him right.

And all those good food that you missed, all those rides you never took, all those places you never could go to with your friends or only with your spouse. No more.

By the time you hit retirement age, sharks will probably be extinct. Oil prices will be hitting new heights. And many other things will have happened. You will never eat sharks' fins again. You may never be able to afford to fly again. You may never be able to eat heavy foods again. Who knows? Maybe Soylent Green will turn from fiction to fact in our lifetime!

So why leave to tomorrow what you can do today?

Rant 031 / Kidnap Is An Exciting Fundraising Activity

Singapore is a democratic country that has been ruled by one political party ever since its independence. This has proven to be no obstacle to its growth, given that it has progressed from being a Third-World country to First-World in less than half a century. Note that this is an unprecedented achievement in Asia. What's even better about Singapore is that no one has had to go through the troubles of voting for a President since there has never been more than one candidate in any of the Presidential Elections. This indicates the stringent rules set by the government in order to choose only the best possible Presidential Candidate for the people.

In Singapore, the national religion is Capitalism. The Sacred Symbol of this widespread religion, the $, can be found anywhere in the country. Certain basic concepts are also used heavily in the nation's penal system, where many crimes are punished with fines. Due to Capitalism's immense tolerance of any other religions, especially the ones that require devotees to buy religious materials regularly, Singapore enjoys a multitude of religions that work cohesively with the national religion. It is surprising, though, that Scientology has almost no presence here. This phenomenon has baffled many sociologists and economists since Scientology is known to attract the rich and famous.

Singapore's national sport is DoTA. It is a game that is especially popular among males in their teens and 20s. In this game, the objective is to remove a certain structure from the opposite base. Members of the two teams, each controlling one side of the field, use their agility and guile to defeat opposite members. It is an intense and exciting game that is usually played indoors. The best teams are known to be sponsored by various companies, and the trophy prize in this sport is still growing with each tournament.

Singaporean culture is a combination of many foreign cultures. Unless one can call this mixture a culture on its own, Singapore has almost no local culture that is truly created by its people. Singapore literature reflects its culture with many writers who are able to create literary works in many languages. However, few or none of these literature are written in Singlish, the language that is invented by Singaporeans and the language of choice of many locals. This is not surprising given that the government does not provide much support for this language native to Singapore. Singapore's rich heritage in literary works is also largely unknown by the general population, except for the works of Catherine Lim and Jack Neo. They are considered, by some, as anomalies of the local literature scene as they are actually known by more than half the population (at least in the case of Jack). The general ignorance of the people of many local writers can be attributed to the fact that many Singaporeans have a certain amount of disdain for local works, though this is beginning to wane with the appearance of local diva Stephanie Sun. It can be considered an amazing phenomenon that she is actually famous in Singapore. For a while, it was believed that she would replace the $ as the Sacred Symbol in Singapore, though this has proven to be false.

Singapore has a highly developed market-based economy, which historically revolves around extended entrepot trade. The economy depends heavily on GST, which has been growing at a significant rate in recent years. Its manufacturing industry is well-diversified in petroleum and water refining.

Singaporean cuisine is the preferred attraction used in the promotion of tourism of Singapore. Unlike the rest of Singaporean culture, Singaporean cuisine has made great progress in creating unique local flavours. NEWater, a type of beverage with a truly Singaporean tang*, is a product that is wholly made by Singapore, in Singapore. Though it only contributes 1% of Singapore's potable water requirements, readers must know that its first factories were completed in 2002. About 94% of this product is currently being used in various non-potable applications.

The military of Singapore serves primarily as a deterrent to potential immigrants under the age of 19. Singapore employs conscription for all males. Compulsory military training and service lasting up to 2 years can begin for boys as young as 17. During this period, the boys are trained intensively in their running speed and endurance. This is very important as the distance from Singapore to Malaysia is far beyond the abilities of the average amateur Singaporean runner. Singapore has mutual defence pacts with several countries, most notably the Five Power Defence Arrangements. Strangely enough though, over half of the countries involved are not anywhere near Singapore.

The national language of Singapore is Singlish, and it is used in the national anthem, "Majulah Singapura". The official languages are English, Mandarin,Malay and Tamil. English has been promoted as the country's language of administration since independence, but Singlish is the language that is spoken by the majority of the population.

*Tang in this context is defined as "the distinctive flavor or quality of a thing"

Warning: Don't believe what you're reading here! I'm telling you right now, I've included lies in the above rant!

Rant 30 / In Soviet Russia, Epic Movie watches YOU!!!

Just one of the many functions of IE: Popup messages that alert you when a popup is blocked.














One of the Sequels.




















A typical plate.







The first step to improvement, is to admit that you have a problem.
The second step to improvement, is to think of how to solve this problem.
The third step to improvement, is to forget you have a problem and go on with life.

Which is how many losers end up the way they are.



If "dice" is plural, and "die" is singular, do multiple cases of "lie" make "lice"?

No they don't. Language is not always logical. I blame social inertia. Social inertia makes life so illogical. Without social inertia, we can probably start reducing CO2 levels in the next ten years. But no. People won't do it. The old way is cheaper! Hybrid cars are expensive!! And that car that runs on hydrogen? That's worse!! How many places are there in this world that sells the hydrogen we'd need?

No, people will always do what they want to do. And somehow, they always choose the right choice. It may not be obvious, but many "wrong choices" Man made in history were really important turning points that have made us who we are. We would not be here without them. Not that that is a bad thing to some of you, but it is a bad thing to me. Yes, me! If I were never born, you would not be here reading this delightful blog and having so much joy in your life! Yes, me! If I were never born, you would not be able to know what true boredom is. Yes, me! If I were never born, you would have no chance to fall in love with me, if you're a girl of the right age! Yes, me! If I were never born, you wouldn't be able to know enlightenment! That's right. If I were never born, you would go on being the miserable, dead-bored, nail-chewing, ass-scratching, unkempt, blasphemous cur that you really are. But since I am here to type this blog, let me see what I can do for you. Oh, that's right. Nothing, sucka! You solve your own problems. It's your own life. You cannot have others trying to lead you in how you live. Fuck! You're not a fucking zombie! Can't you see that you are the source of your own problems? All problems can be solved or can be turned to your advantage, if you put your mind to it. So piss off, O Unenlightened fucker. And leave me be.



A blow to your pride. A boost to my ego.



All fools go to Heaven. The smart ones go to Hell 'cause that's where the burnt money goes.

LAWL!!!




To exit this Universe, we will need to move in the 5th dimension? I wonder what this 5th dimension is.




The clearing where the path ends. What wonders will I see there?




Porchesia was a tragedy. The Porchesian Holocaust was caused by a very small gesture. A very minute action, known as a click. Yes, Porchesia was annihilated in a single second, by a man known as "Danny", with a cruel and wicked click. Now what is left of Porchesia is this. Nothing but ashes. 354,897 people vanished from the face of the Earth, without a trace! We shall never forget them! Let us fight on against the murderous admins of Wikipedia!

LOL j/k!!!

Rant 029 / I've come in peace. NOW EAT LEAD!!!!!

Trivia 01 : 99.9% of all mothers in this world are female.

A : I've got 6 penises and 12 balls in my pants.
B : Tell those 6 guys to go away.

Night time is the best time to do everything. It is quiet. One can do anything in peace. Well, anything except group activities that have nothing to do with sex. But then, we, pure and innocent souls blessed by everything that is holy, are not interested in group sexual activities, are we? Of course not. Even though sex is holy. Even though we are born to reproduce. Even though everyone wants sex these days, we do not want such filthy things. Yeah, it would be unforgivable...yeah....




Do you know what Jesus Juice is?




Excerpt from the article "Goa Tse" in Uncyclopedia.com

"Goa Tse (Pinyin: Goatze, Wade Giles: Koa Ze) was a Taoist monk in the line of Chuang Tse (Tzu), active in the Chinese province of Yughease around 455 BC. Famous for writing an early I Ching lecture book, Goa Tse was to become a key figure within Chinese philosophical thinking, and although many of the tales surrounding him are more mythological than historical, a number of facts about his life have survived."

This is the sacred symbol of Goa Tse.


For those who get it, have a good laugh. For those who don't, too bad.




I still can't get out of my mind the stuff the Minister of Education of Taiwan(or whatever they call him there) did last month. San1 Zi1 Xiao3 Zhu1 is an idiom.... ROFLMFAO!!! Then after that he says that studying idioms is wrong. Idioms are a symptom of the degradation of the Chinese language. Or something like that. Repeat after me: R-O-F-L-M-F-A-O-!-!-!-!-! This is so incredible. This, said by a Minister of Education. From a country that is sometimes considered as part of China. I just can't get it out of my mind. You've got to hand it to him, man. He's got guts! Maybe some years later, their Minister of Health or whatever it is they call him there will encourage people to smoke cocaine instead of cigarettes because cocaine doesn't cause cancer the way tobacco does... "Cocaine contains virtually no nicotine, therefore there is no carcinogen in cocaine. This makes smoking cocaine the healthier choice. Be smart. Smoke coke. Even Bush did it." Hearing this from the Minister will really make my day.. LMFAO!!!






The fact is, there is no need to follow the crowd.
The fact is, there is no perfect government.
The fact is, there is no Prince Charming.
The fact is, there is no such as thing as being fearless.
The fact is, there is no way you can leave this Universe.
The fact is, there is no infinity in the real world.
The fact is, there is no spoon.
The fact is, there is no truth that you cannot twist into a lie.
The fact is, there is no lie that cannot be changed into truth.
The fact is, there is no way to truly tell if a person is lying.
The fact is, there is no way you can lie to others without lying to yourself first.
The fact is, there is no difference between a glass that is half empty and a broken glass.
The fact is, there is no need for war if there is no greed.
The fact is, there is no life if there is no greed.
The fact is, there is no money if there is no greed.
The fact is, there is no way you improve yourself if you do not first admit that you have a problem.
The fact is, there is no Private Ryan.
The fact is, there is no spoon.
The fact is, there is no Secret of Monkey Island.
The fact is, there is no entertainment for you if you keep asking for it from the same guy.
The fact is, there is no use crying over spilt milk.
The fact is, there is no way someone can have more balls than the average guy on the streets.
The fact is, there is no difference between chinese rap and english xiang4 sheng1.
The fact is, there is no reason that is good enough to justify the murder of anyone, except those who have terminal illnesses.
The fact is, there is no free lunch.
The fact is, there is no free sex.
The fact is, there is no abortion, only murder.
The fact is, there is no way you'd believe all these were created by me.
The fact is, there is no need for you to.
The fact is, there is no point for me to prove it.
The fact is, there is no perfect soul.
The fact is, there is no Santa.
The fact is, there is no community of wise old elves in any ancient forests.
The fact is, there is no freedom in a country where many streets have surveillance cameras 24/7.
The fact is, there is no freedom when living in a densely populated place.
The fact is, there is no need for freedom.
The fact is, there is no distinction between giving a blowjob and licking a toilet bowl.
The fact is, there is no distinction between getting a blowjob and sticking your penis in a warm wet hole with teeth.
The fact is, there is no need to tell complete lies.
The fact is, there is no spoon.
The fact is, there is no need to read all these.
The fact is, there is no reason why the Tooth Fairy would want cold, dead teeth with bits of your gums still attached to it.
The fact is, there is no such thing as being busy.
The fact is, there is no end to this if I wish it to go on.

Rant 028 / Pubic hair Is Grown Where It Is Because Man Was Not Meant to Wear Underwear!

Captain Obvious, On The Titanic




















Notice a pattern?





















We all love afk players. They are so much fun!





Trivia 01: I always type the title of the rant after I'm done ranting.
Trivia 02: The title usually doesn't have anything to do with the rant.
Trivia 03: The quotes in my MSN are usually my creations, which is why usually they are as "interesting" as they are.
Trivia 04: The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.




Chaos is the mother of change.




I've always thought that mandarin and many chinese dialects are not meant to be sung. Unlike english, they have different tones for every word, and spoken together its almost like music. To me, english is more beautiful written than spoken. But for chinese (mandarin and many dialects), it is the reverse. Which is why xiang4 sheng1 ( I don't know how to write these 2 characters :D) seems more suitable for the language than songs. Tones are already imbued in the chinese language, and what xiang sheng adds to it is the rhythm. Together they are very similar to songs. On the other hand, this also gives chinese speakers a slight disadvantage at expressing their feelings, compared to english speakers. English speakers can express their emotions through manipulation of the tones and pitches of their speech, whereas chinese speakers can only do such to a very small degree, lest they change the words they are trying to say. But they are able to offset this by adding certain words to their speech, like 呀 or 啊 to their speech. This is not as efficient as what can be done to english, because such words are, mostly, placed at the end of sentences, while in english, the tones and pitches of the entire speech can be changed to show the desired emotion right from the start.

Let's go back to music. English is very suitable for songs simply because their tones are not set. No matter what tone or pitch they are spoken with, there is almost no risk of changing the words. And in my opinion, chinese is to rap as english is to xiang sheng. LOL just imagine an english xiang sheng performance! It'll be a whole conversation spoken in 1 single tone! And when chinese is rapped, all tones are removed. It is incredibly hard to understand what is said in the rap, compared to english rap. I know this may be offensive to some but chinese rap is bullshit, just like english xiang sheng. I'm not going any further than that and touch on chinese rappers, though. I'm not suicidal, yet.

Ironically, even though english is more beautiful in its written form, it really does seem to be designed for speech. You see, english words are formed by letters. All these letters show you how the words are to be pronounced, and that is their main function. When reading english documents, the reader needs to recognize the words the letters formed, before thinking about what they mean. This means that a person listening to english words can understand what is conveyed faster than a reader reading english words, because by listening, they skip the step of recognizing the letters and the words they form and can go straight to understanding the meanings of the words.

In chinese, the characters are like pictures. Some do show you how the word is meant to be pronounced, but not all. Instead, chinese characters are formed from pictures of what they are suppose to symbolise, so that it can convey their meanings more easily without much imagination. In the case of ancient chinese, there is little need for imagination as it is almost like looking at a series of drawings! Therefore, it was designed for maximum efficiency of information conveyance when written. In other words, it was made to be written! What an irony!

But this brings about one possible implication. Does this mean that the ancient chinese rulers did not believe in the memories of their messengers, or trust the messengers as much as their european counterparts, therefore requiring such a design in their language so that written documents becomes the better way to store their messages? Such a way reduces the speed of transmission of information, but greatly reduces the possibilities of errors.

Learning chinese is not harder than learning english. They are just different. Whichever language one finds easier to learn really depends on what the person is more accustomed to. Learning english is like learning to use 26 basic building blocks to build their structures, whereas learning chinese is like learning to use different combination of any of the thousands of different building blocks available according to what you want the structure to be. To simplify things further, is the memorisation of the thousands of combinations of a mere 26 basic blocks of the english language or the memorisation of the thousands of basic building blocks of the chinese language easier? This only applies to the learning of these languages, and has nothing to do with the mastering of them.





I hate drunks and gangsters. They shout so loud I can hear them from here, 22 storeys above them. Especially at night. And the muthafuckin bikers who make that irritatingly loud noise with their exhaust pipes. Sometimes I think I should learn to use a sniper rifle, get one, and just camp at night on a top level of one of the tall buildings near the main roads. And snipe those gas tanks of their bikes to blow their balls off. If I miss I'll probably shoot their ass/balls instead. Both are fine with me. Ah, the joys of fantasies.....

They have to be guys. Only guys like to do meaningless things that serve no other apparent purpose but to annoy. Well there are girls like that but they are as common as geeks who date supermodels regularly.