Note: This post took a while because there were more urgent matters to attend to. It's almost Christmas!
How many days has it been? Time passes so quickly now.
Third day. Two nights of living in their home. Quiet and has a great view from the living room and balcony.
So quiet I wasn't used to it at all, especially since neither fans or air-conditioners are necessary in New Zealand.
It felt like what some people called "sensory deprivation".
I have mild tinnitus, so it's really not that cool, yet I sleep well regardless. Tired.
First day I got here, I couldn't sleep at all on the plane. After going with my aunt to the supermarket to get ingredients and two pillows, I was in no state to go for the jog I wanted to try.
And my aunt was disappointed when I said I had booked some activities over the following days. My cousin was so mad that he scolded me, and in the process gave me an idea of what I was doing to them, so I ignored all my appointments that I had booked.
The bungy jump people didn't seem to care but the tour operator for the Waiheke Island tour sounded a little annoyed, surprisingly, because she told me to inform the tour operators the next time I can't attend a tour.
Like I'm going to join stuff like that next time anyway.
In any case, the food here is great, and so is the air. The golden kiwis, beef, baby lobsters, oysters and apples. Can't miss any of these when one comes to New Zealand.
On the first night I had beef stir fried with portobello mushrooms (the fresh ones that haven't bloomed) and salmon sashimi.
The first breakfast was Korean instant noodles with local beef balls. Holy crap the beef balls were awesome! Too bad I wanted my bro to bring Manuka honey back (1kg UMF 15+ only for 42NZD!!!) so I have to set the limit there.
No lunch because all meals were supplemented with huge amounts of local Mary Rose apples and golden kiwis. Can't stop eating those kiwi fruits.
Second dinner was home cooked again, with their own jiu3 cai4 harvested from their own garden fried with egg, apple and pork soup, and mussels with tomatoes.
Second breakfast was sandwich with a mix of avocado, sweetened condensed milk and wasabi, and some local-made Chinese steamed buns (red beans, meat and veg). Local buns are slightly yellowish because apparently the flour isn't treated with anything.
Third dinner was at a local Chinese restaurant, 好彩 seafood restaurant, with my cousin's soon-to-be wife, her parents, her cousin and her cousin's mother aka her aunt. Her cousin's cute and only two years younger, but quite obviously has no discipline when it comes to money when she talked about her trip to Tokyo. Nobody's perfect, like how I'm too shy, but that's one imperfection I can't accept.
In today's world, financial discipline is one of the most important things in life IMO.
She comes from a wealthy family so I guess that's not something they would ingrain in her.
Nope.
Lots of cute white girls here too.
Speaking of which, my cousin asked me on the second day whether I would pick an Asian girl or a white girl for a fling or something. I gave him my answer which was based on my need to grow some balls and partly out of curiosity, and he told me he knew who to pick to "entertain" me during the stag party.
Quite obvious what was happening since I've told everyone straight up I've never had a girlfriend nor any sort of romantic relationship before.
Later that evening, we took a walk to Cockles Bay and had a talk, during which he approved of my choice because I had guts. He's had experience with all kinds of girls before and in his opinion, white girls have too many demands and Chinese guys tend to be too introverted to meet their needs. On the other hand, Asian girls are too easy, that's why it seems so easy for white guys to get Asian girlfriends.
I'm curious because I've had very little contact IRL with white females before.
Gave me his opinions on plenty of things, including a certain trend among all the cousins. The talk is the one thing so far that makes me believe spending over two thousand bucks on the flight tickets here was a fantastic deal.
I like to learn from people who have seen more than me, and he changed my perception on relationships and nationality.
Everyone around me got attached to someone from Singapore, so I've always thought that a long term relationship with someone not from the same country as me would be incredibly hard, unless it's one of those marriages bought with money.
Apparently, this idea shocked him. It didn't make a whit of sense to him at all! In fact, he's a New Zealander born in HK, studied in the US and working at Wall Street, although temporarily transferred back to HK to aid in the expansion of the bank there. Most importantly, his wife is Shanghainese.
I will have to find a chance to ask him how that works. How do they date?
The long day of travel has begun. Currently at Hanoi right outside gate 3A and I'm bored out of my mind, hence I'm typing this.
I'm so tired, I could barely keep my eyes open as I walk. My eyes are so dry from the fatigue!
Last night, I could only sleep a little during the flight from Auckland to Hong Kong, while the night before, I was with my cousins and his friends for his bachelor's party that lasted past 1.30am. Chatted with my 5th aunt (细姨) for a while and so I only slept at 3.30am... And got up automatically at 7am regardless.
Tonight I'm flying from Vietnam to Seoul, arriving at around 7am. Totally not expecting a good night of sleep, so the current plan is to leave my luggage with the hotel counter, shop for a jacket and a pair of jeans, maybe get some food and then sleeeeeeeeeeep.
I don't know. That may ruin my sleep schedule, but I'm so tired.
On the bright side, I'm now chatting with two babes, although at least one of them is attached again. Still, this is the largest number of pretty girls who are interested in talking to me ever. I'm so happy, I can hardly believe I'm actually getting closer to being an eligible bachelor than I've ever been.
Not that I'm interested in going further with either, but still, it's a new milestone.
I wanted to end this here but I'm still 2 hours away from boarding and there's no free wifi in Hanoi airport! That's why I'm so bored.
So maybe I will continue the story.
So I ended the last part at the chat at the beach. It kinda made me think a lot about my life, gave me new perspectives. I thought it strange that he wasn't giving that speech to my other cousins and felt flattered that he would think highly of me enough to want to help me. On the other hand, I now suspect he's using me as some kind of guinea pig for his theory.
He wants to change the Chinese people. As an experienced banker, he found that we tend to be very talented in technical abilities but are rarely ever promoted to executive positions at Wall Street. In fact, there are Americans who boast that the reason the US has always been so successful was because "they export leaders."
The fact is that I think I'm wrong about leadership - it's not about getting results; it's about gaining trust. That's why politicians do what they do and succeed as leaders even though they don't always deliver.
We need to change, and this must begin from home. We are too introverted and yet egotistic. We think highly of ourselves out of this need to succeed constantly and when we can't so something, we just can't admit that it is beyond us. This prevents us from trying to learn to do it when we delude ourselves into believing that we merely don't want to do it, that we can do it if we really wanted to.
I did ask him directly why he didn't say these things to the other male cousins. My eldest male cousin, he has strangely given up on him. Past the right age, he said. I don't know, he's got a PhD, probably considered good-looking to the ladies and hasn't hit 40 yet. My brother is probably so introverted he's too far gone, but he hoped that I would try to pass the message to him since I'm much closer to him. My younger cousin is in his mid-20s and appears to be an immature playboy. That leaves me to be the only one among us who is at a young age and has gained a certain mature understanding about life to be able to see what he's trying to say.
I need to be far more proactive. Never thought about myself that way, about me being passive, but that's how he described me, and I think he's right.
Alright, moving on.
I was wrong about several things regarding her cousin. She wasn't from a rich family and she was joking about overspending in Tokyo. Well, I'm not so sure if it was a joke but that's what Ted said. He seemed eager to try to get us together and Ken, the eldest male cousin, isn't interested at all, probably due to the age gap.
Anyway her mother is a singer in some high profile choir in China while I have no information about her father. Regardless, since she was using her mother's card in Japan, that makes her father irrelevant when gauging her family's wealth.
I've also made a note that her mother's job gives me another topic to talk about given my own experience in choirs.
I'm too shy, I'll admit, when it comes to girls. The hotter they are, the worse it gets. Not an uncommon problem but I'm so extreme I've never had a girlfriend before. People actually believe my standards are too high!
That was why it took quite some effort and a few glasses of champagne and wine to chat her up quickly during the wedding night and gave her my WeChat ID. She seemed to have expected me to ask for hers but I was having some issues with my phone, mainly the fact that I couldn't recall where I left my original SIM card and was about to give my prepaid card to one of my aunts, and I had no idea if WeChat works without a SIM card.
Of course it was rehearsed mentally. I need more experience, seriously. And grow a bigger pair too when it comes to girls. All my aunts tell me I'm a very attractive bachelor, although I believe it's more like they were just trying to give me encouragement. Still, their reasons sounded valid:
1) I have no parents, so the girl will have no problem with in-laws.
2) I run a frickin business at 28! That's the only reason I still have an ego tbh.
3) I have a job that involves a lot of shopping, domestically, internationally and online!
4) I neither drink nor smoke.
Moving on.
Jogged with my uncle, father of the cousin who's getting married, on the second day, I think. There was a walkway near Cockles Bay and it was great for training. It ran through the local wilderness that is perfectly safe because New Zealand has no snakes or large insects. Instead, birds run the show and appear happy and well-fed.
The distance doesn't seem too long but there were lots of stairs and slopes. Unlike Singaporeans, the Kiwis are reluctant to flatten slopes for both roads and walkways, so it's all natural over there, and Nature is a bitch to run on.
At first, it felt like my uncle's slow speed was going to make this too easy, but with all the stairs and slopes, I soon realised this was going to be pushing my limits. And I was right - my thighs were cramping when I walked sometimes that afternoon and evening.
The third day was more interesting. After a dim sum breakfast at a nearby Chinese restaurant (tastes better, same prices as Singapore dim sum and no menus wtf), I went with my aunt to pick up another two aunts at the airport, then went to Auckland city by bus to meet my bro and Ted, the cousin who's getting married, for dinner with his friends at some posh restaurant. Fine dining is finer than I imagined, if you were willing to spend. He spent over 1.5k NZD for a 3-course dinner for 11 plus a bottle of champagne and a few bottles of wine.
Tbh for that dinner, $100+ wasn't too bad - it was surprisingly filling overall and we were all happy with the food.
Then we went to this bar nearby call "TomTom" for some beer before calling it a night.
Despite all the alcohol Ted made me drink, I wasn't badly drunk when I got back, just very thirsty. I was still conscious enough to go up the stairs easily and talk about what I was feeling to someone in GoW.
Clearly I've always underestimated my ability to handle alcohol.
4th day was even more interesting! Although this may not be suitable for children, this isn't going to stop me from describing it.
After breakfast, I went with Ken, the other cousin attending the wedding, to the city by bus for a SkyWalk and SkyJump with Tess, the cousin of Ted's wife whom he's been trying to push to me. Ken merely watched while Ted claimed he was unable to get a slot himself because it was fully booked.
It wasn't important whether the last was true because it was nice to do something exciting with her. Obviously it was one of his attempts to push us together and I didn't want to avoid such an opportunity.
The walk was amazing. Lots of safety precautions were used but two ropes attached to a harness weren't really enough to reassure us that the 120m walk on the 1.2m-wide path 192m above the ground below was perfectly safe.
The guide gave us some activities to do, had a video camera attached to his helmet and took photos of us doing the activities, or "challenges" as he called it.
The first challenge was easy - simply walk a few metres towards him without holding the rope in front of our harness.
The second was, by far, the craziest, yet made the most sense. We were asked to sit on the harness, move to the edge of the platform and straighten our legs to that we were hanging beyond the platform. Then we looked down, followed by a pose for the camera.
Tess couldn't do it till the end of the tour when I did it with her. Fun times.
This made the most sense among the challenges because it made us trust our harness, thus allowing us to feel safer throughout the rest of the walk.
The last challenge was simply to walk about 10m towards him without holding the rope - and looking upwards. That was followed by walking backwards the same way.
Finally, it ended with a group photo, just the five of us, taken by the guide.
He gave us descriptions of the stuff we see too, like the volcanoes in Auckland, but I was too busy shitting bricks to remember most of them.
The jump was bad. Or rather, it was bad at first.
I couldn't jump at the end of the countdown and I think the person handling my jump had to do a second countdown before I could finally let go of the poles. Got to watch the video to confirm.
And I couldn't land properly because my mind was blank at the end. Only the jolt of me landing on all fours woke me up.
She did it way better than me since she landed on her legs as we were supposed to.
But the fall became less scary after the first few seconds, so it was not as bad as I expected.
Will discuss the rest later. 44% battery left.
4.5l Chivas Regal for US$178. Spotted at Noi Bai Airport. Dang!
Back in SG now. Not sure if I'll describe the really kinky stuff in detail here. Maybe in a post that I won't publish.
So after the jump, I went to Ted's room with him and Ken to take a break before heading to a Japanese restaurant for dinner. He also booked a cab for me for after the wedding and learnt that the price is roughly NZ$120 among the cheaper taxi companies there for the ride from the winery to the airport.
Weird because a cab from the airport to the city only costs about NZ$30-40.
The dinner was a loooong one because one of Ted's friends was suffering from a horrible case of jet lag and overslept in his room after we left him at his hotel when we left the Skytower.
He arrived about an hour late and had to eat something before we can have a toast with the sake we ordered. Apparently, he really can't handle alcohol on an empty stomach.
Once dinner was over, we headed to a strip club. My first experience in a place like that and Ted picked one with white strippers even though his friends preferred Asian ones.
I don't know if the system is the same everywhere else but in that particular club, we bought tipping money to tip the strippers, although cash is accepted too. This tipping money is essentially tokens, so my guess is that it works the same as casino tokens in terms of its psychological effects, eg you don't feel as much pain when you spend it.
It was no surprise when he picked the seats around the stage where two poles allowed two strippers to perform simultaneously. He gave everyone some tipping money before going in but I had no idea how to tip, so when the first stripper asked me if I was going to tip before everyone else had done so, I just smiled and said," I don't know." I hope she interpreted it as a coy response.
Tipping is fun when the girl is showing more enthusiasm, like some who would reach for the hand with their breasts and rub the hand between them before pulling the tip away. Some also give tippers a kiss on the cheeks.
Otherwise, they all wear a band on their thighs so you slip the tip inside when they come over.
Well, I don't think I'll go any further here. Suffice to say I got a private dance and the girl really tried to give me blue balls.
After that, a friend of Ted's who lived in the suburb where the motel was drove some of us back because it was past 1.30am. The initial plan was to see if the aunt I was sharing the room with was asleep, and if she was I would sleep on the couch or something at Ted's place.
But just as we were leaving the car park, she called me to ask if I was coming back to sleep. That was a huge surprise because we made no arrangement before this other than passing her my key. Another funny thing was that I was so hoarse by then, partly from the mad screaming during the jump, that she thought I was Ted.
Anyway we got back and the friend who drove us there told us to keep the windows closed as it was not as safe as it appears to be. Seriously, Howick is so empty it felt safer than Singapore just from the lack of human traffic everywhere.
My aunt was still up and not very sleepy when I got back so we talked a little about the kind of girl I prefer. Strange topic but I think I went a little too far, probably from the alcohol, when I told her I really look down on the kind of girl who just wanted to depend on the future husband as the sole breadwinner for the rest of her life.
It was only after I said it that I recalled she was exactly that. Poor girl, I'd always thought she was the prettiest among my aunts but she had so little confidence in herself. It's weird, I don't understand how that works.
Also, she's now in her forties, married with two kids and somehow gained some weight despite the stress, so that should clear any sort of misunderstanding arising from my above statements.
She didn't respond to what I said, for which I was glad. Or maybe it had to do with how I said that if my mum had been that kind of girl, she would have been in such trouble after my dad's passing.
That night, I slept for less than 4 hours.
The following day was the big day, so I brought my suit, shirt, belt and tie with me to Ted's place while Ken wore his right from the start. Teds father drove us there and we had breakfast (more NZ beef meatballs!) and then he went off to bring more people over.
Soon, the groom, Ted, and the bride, Zoe, arrived along with her parents and one of her bridesmaids, Tess, all ready for some photoshoots and the tea ceremony. It was then that I realized it was time for me to change into my suit. On the other hand, my bro and their gf weren't prepared for this :(
In the end, my aunt drove them back to the motel after the ceremony and back again to take the coach to the winery.
Ted even hired a professional makeup artist for his mother, who arrived after everyone had arrived, and immediately started working on her in the bathroom.
I really wasn't used to all the attention I was getting after changing so I just played along and posed with my aunts for the photos taken by Ken.
The tea ceremony was such a formal ritual!
Ted was in a suit while Zoe was in a traditional Chinese red wedding gown, and they had to kneel in front of their elders and serve them tea that was brought to them by Tess in her bridesmaid gown.
Meanwhile, the camera crew hired by Ted took both photos and videos of the entire process. Not sure if I'm going to get a copy but that would be nice.
Then my bro and his gf was brought back to the motel while everyone on Zoe's side of the family drove off to the winery. The rest of us waited before taking the coach that brought everyone from various parts of Auckland to the winery for the final phase of the wedding.
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Interlude
LOL! Tried NS2 again last night and today, with wildly varying results. Last night, I was playing as a Marine, and my performance was terrible. Starting the game with an initial skill of 47, I ended the night with a skill of 42 after one game.
Today, I played as an Alien and after one game, my skill is now 250.
Anyway I'm having difficulty finishing the post because I've decided to change all names after typing most of the above with real names.
...
Name changes done!
And the fonts are messed up. At least they're readable.
........................................
I slept through most of the coach ride that took us through several parts of Auckland to pick up everyone before going to the winery.
The wedding itinerary:
After leaving my luggage in the office (with permission from the staff of course), I joined everyone at the ceremony area where we were seated and those of us sitting close to the red carpet in the middle were asked to grab a handful of petals.
The ceremony was pretty classic so I don't have to say much about it. We threw the petals at the end when they were leaving, that's about it.
This was followed by the cocktail hour when we were served wines and various snacks next to an open bar that nobody really used.
On hindsight, I wasted the time. Instead of moving around getting to know more people, I just talked to the same group of people I've already met before and would be sitting down with during the dinner.
Then there were some speeches before the buffet dinner.
After the dinner, the bride and groom cut the cake, after which we had some games. Halfway through the games, they decided I had to translate for the MC because he was fine with Cantonese and English but had difficulty with Mandarin. It was certainly an interesting experience to be an interpreter for a while.
Before long, the bus had arrived and we had to go. At the office where I picked up my luggage, my cousin gave me a bottle of sparkling wine that I had to hold in my hands till I got to the airport. While they boarded the bus to Howick, I went for the taxi waiting nearby, except I didn't know the big guy waiting at the entrance was the driver until I reached the empty car.
When he saw me waiting at the cab, he came over and helped me with the luggage.
During the journey, we had a talk and he told me about his trip to Singapore last year with his family and how they were "blown away", first by the airport, then the city. Unfortunately, when they went to Malaysia, they were robbed almost immediately!
It was just their first day at JB and some guy slashed the strap of his wife's handbag and ran away with the entire bag that contained all their money and documents.
Wtf?
They were so shocked that things were so different even though Singapore and Malaysia were right next to each other, and he had to keep telling his kids that the Malaysians weren't all like that and they were just unfortunate to have encountered the bad ones.
All in all, he was extremely friendly, unsurprising after my stay at NZ.
At the airport, I walked around for a while before realizing that there were no check in counters, just automated check-in machines and the luggage check-in area. The washrooms weren't as conveniently located as I expected, so I just opened my luggage at an empty area, removed and kept my tie inside together with the bottle of sparking wine.
At the same time, I decided to try and search for a locker or something at Changi Airport as soon as I reach it, otherwise I'd have to rush home just to leave it there.
Flying in a suit was not too bad. Unfortunately, Air NZ doesn't keep the jackets for Economy cabin passengers, so I had to keep calm throughout the trip to remain dry.
Speaking of Air New Zealand, it definitely sucked the most out of all the airlines I've tried so far. For the Chinese airlines, the passengers sucked, but for this airline, it was the entertainment that sucked. During the flight from NZ to HK, I tried 3 movies and all three started skipping after about 15 minutes! What the hell? That was a long haul flight, damn it! Long flight + no movies = I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo BORED! But I couldn't sleep because it wasn't very comfortable.
Anyway, I had to remove my undershirt right after alighting the plane at Changi because it was really too warm.
Fortunately, there was a luggage deposit area at terminal 3 where I had to check in for my next flight, and it only cost about S$14 to leave it there for 7 days (they charge in blocks of 12 hours), far cheaper than what it would cost me to rush home in a cab and back.
And did I mention it feels awesome to walk around in a nice suit?
Too bad I didn't know that I didn't have to flatten the collar of my shirt when I wore it without a tie, so there was that little mistake.
The taxi trip from Incheon was quiet until the end when it took me a while to realize the highway toll wasn't automatically added to the meter, and the driver couldn't speak any English at all, leading to some confusion, and some frustration on his part. Anyway he gave up at the end and pointed me in the general direction of the hotel.
It was different from my previous trip because the last time I went to Skypark Myeongdong I, the driver brought me right to the doorstep, but this time, the driver took me somewhere nearby and said that they were not allowed to go in.
Bullshit, but I was in no mood to argue, and it was just as well because later, I realized that I had paid him a thousand wons short.
Of course I reached the hotel far too early for check in, so I left my luggage there, walked around only to find closed doors everywhere, and spent an hour or two dozing off in the lobby. I was SO tired by then that my brain barely worked. The hotel staff noticed that and, at 1pm, informed me that I could check in, an hour before their standard check-in time of 2pm.
Nice.
There really isn't much to talk about regarding this trip. I just walked a lot, experimented with different clothings and ended up wearing a t-shirt, a cotton hoodie and a windbreaker. That allowed me to blend in so well I was mistaken for a local by five other tourists during my stay there.
The most painful purchase there was probably a jacket at Lotte Young that was priced at half a million wons, but when I pulled it out to take a closer look, a salesgirl told me there was a discount so the final price was slightly below 400k won. Bought it and will make sure it was worth it.
Also went for a short small-group food tour where I learnt to order several dishes in Korean, like grilled mackerel. The guide was a local university student and the group consisted of me and a young couple from the Netherlands who took photos of everything and everyone.
Then I returned to Singapore for a week before moving on to Guangzhou.
Although I managed to buy nothing, it was not a fruitless trip. There, I learnt that I was staying at the wrong area if I wanted cheap goods, as the most famous wholesale market in Guangzhou turned to be the most expensive one too, although it does have the best stuff.
At the market where the cheapest could be found, the traffic was so bad both foot traffic and vehicle traffic were jammed at multiple areas. At higher floors, I was bumped into and pushed several times (although the pushes were highly ineffective), and I suspect at least a few of them were by pickpockets.
Regarding pickpockets, I was not worried. Tess had already warned me that since it was the end of the year, pickpockets were working harder than usual, so I made several precautionary measures to prevent the bulk of the money I was carrying couldn't be stolen.
I had one leather wallet, two smaller security wallets and larger security pouch. The wallet contained less than 200RMB, mostly small notes and change, for paying for my meals and taxi fares. One security wallet was looped around my belt and kept in the left front pocket of my jeans, while the other front pocket was for my wallet. The other two were slung around each of my shoulders between my t-shirt and cotton hoodie that was always zipped up, and all that was hidden under my windbreaker so any bulge wouldn't be very visible.
As I walked, I also kept my hands in the pockets of my windbreaker as if they were cold, but in fact they were resting on the front pockets of my jeans so that I know if anything goes missing.
This way, I could bring 10k RMB cash plus my passport around without fear of pickpockets, while robbers are rare in those places unless I walk to quiet places, and those are rare at Shahe.
The funny thing about some stores at other wholesale markets is that the salesgirls wear shorts or miniskirts with stockings despite the cold weather. The first time I found myself in an entire row of such stores, it made me wonder if I had accidentally entered a red-light district.
The second time I found a similar place, I realized that thick makeup and skimpy clothing was really a legit sales tactic for them. How that helps to sell down jackets, I don't know.
On the first two days, I had breakfast at the hotel's Chinese restaurant where I was able to find all the dim sum I wanted except 灌汤饺. The closest was the 灌汤包 that was just 小笼包 with fish roe on top.
On the final night, I tried the fish intestines omelette.
It tasted like chicken... liver, and was a little sandy. Probably hard to rinse. Impossible in fact. They most likely had to starve the fish instead. Yea, there was probably some fish shit in there, although it didn't taste off at all.
Anyway I'll end this post here and neglect to edit it even though I know it will be a confusing read. Too long.
