Thursday 24 October 2013

Rant 1182 / If I Should Ask Whenever I Am Confused, How Far Can My Questions Go?



Oh wow. Now this is an epic rap battle!

The best verses start from 2:11


















Looked back and saw that I used to be far better in English than I am now. What happened?

It feels as if I have become less intelligent over the years!

Maybe the best thing to do now is exercise my brain more and come up with better words, rather than simply the basic vocabulary.



















After some thought, I have come to the conclusion that I overthink things. What needs to be done now is how I can stop that. Perhaps I need to be busier? For that, I need stronger motivation.

Currently, I'm jogging every alternate days while having a very light diet. This is already a huge improvement to my life as compared to before. Must I go further?

Or is that overthinking too?

Lost almost 7kg so far. That could be too much but that's just a theory because I'm feeling perfectly fine.

Tuesday 22 October 2013

Rant 1181 / Al Capwned

No appetite, no interest in anything, keep feeling this longing. All as expected. Hopefully these will tone down soon, although I completely welcome the lack of appetite. I'm not crazy enough to risk malnutrition but eating less for a couple of days should really drive down my appetite and that would be really great.



















Vague language is awesome because even when you're actually wrong, you can still sound right.


















So now I'm getting my hopes up again. Looks like it will take a lot more time to get over her.

Funny how this is going. Never been this way before. I'm 28, so I've had plenty of crushes, but none has made me lose my appetite for over 24 hours.

As for my hopes, it's because someone more experienced in the dating game told me that on rare occasions, lesbians are willing to go bi for the right man. Another guy told me the secret that she had thought about it but never found the right guy who's worth it. Since none of them know about this blog, I feel safe to say it here. Moreover, if we ever get together, what I've typed here shouldn't be a huge blow to her.

But both have told me not to go directly for her.

About me: I'm not good looking, weigh over 100kg, never had a girlfriend, no real friends currently. My social skills for friends are completely rusted over the last few years and while my ability to talk shop with clients is still there, I still have a poor ability to make small talk.

In the virtual world, at least 2 women have said I'm an awesome guy, while 5 guys have been talking to me daily.

What a huge difference!

In the Game of War, when I left my first and previous alliance, 8 people asked me why and wouldn't settle for a bullshit reply ( I told the entire alliance there were too many ladies around and I wanted a bigger sausage fest). I have never been this popular before in my entire life!

That may not be much to some people, but it's an enormous change to me. Being called one of her favourite people by a woman is huge to me.























48 hours without food! Of course it's ok, I drank some milk and have my morning coffee still. No gastric issue either.

This is fantastic! I've always wanted to cut down on my food intake and now this is really going to reduce my stomach size! Maybe now I can even try a low carb diet because I don't have to fill my meals with rice.

Unfortunately, I've just bought 25kgs of rice, so this is an issue.

















4th day, feel almost normal now. On hindsight, damn! I'm so embarrassed!!!

Last night felt weird. Somehow I was filled with some unexplanable emotion that I could do nothing about. Good thing it didn't stop me from sleeping, only made me woke up a few times. Kinda felt like anxiety and it made no sense at all. Anxiety attack?

Been drinking only skimmed milk the last few days so since I'm feeling much better today, I had an entire kg of mandarin oranges for brunch.

I still don't get the urge to eat but neither does my body reject food.

Fantastic.

I still did some light exercises for the last few days and I don't feel particularly weak.

If possible, I'll maintain this diet of skimmed milk and fruits. Already lost 4.5kg within days and although it's unhealthy, I'd like to at least maintain it, if not lose more. Going for IPT later and hopefully this will help me lose more weight.


















5th day. I started with one butterhead lettuce and canned sardines, just a tiny 155g can. With some skimmed milk, of course. Since my bro's drinking that, I might as well get some too. Perfect way to get all the nutrition I need without the fats.

Went for a jog at the track nearby. Managed to hit 2.2km before stopping. Panted for an hour. Suspect a minor heart problem.





















6th day. Canned tuna in light brine only. Tuna tasted awesome yet I didn't feel hungry. I must be close to normal now and something's wrong with my digestive system. Maybe the milk? No fibre but it's ok. With the lack of solids in my diet, I'm now peeing on both ends.

Funny thing is that she is initiating our chats, even if they've been short due to her work and health. Genuinely surprised. We started chatting in the morning till her boss arrived, and told her she could resume when she's home.

She actually did! Asked me where we left off. Whoa! I am seriously trying very hard to brush this off as just her being her, because no girl has ever initiated a casual conversation with me like this before.

Yes, before this, I was just one of those guys.

Jogged again and ran slightly more than 2.2km but didn't pant as hard. I think my heart wasn't up for that kind of stress yesterday but it's improving now. Still felt a little short of breath until I slept for an hour after that.


















7th day now. Wow. I'm really close to normal now.

Went to ION after work to get a cheap suit at G2000 but it was under renovation till mid-November. Of course it wasn't wasted because I also had to do some market research for work.

Didn't buy anything there although I was so tempted. As you may have noticed, I haven't had any meat for a week now, and walking through the food court and restaurants at B4 to find the G2000 was a torture. Even went to the gourmet market for extra pain. Expected to get something nice and vegetarian but ended up with nothing.

But I did get some food at the market near my home. Just lots of mushrooms and cherry tomatoes. Mushrooms for me, tomatoes for my terrapin. Can't always throw generic turtle feed and dried shrimps in there only. For one, they have no vitamin C.

Mushrooms are a great choice because they have less calories than even tuna in brine and I didn't feel like eating anything green and raw without dressings. Mushrooms, on the other hand, can just be boiled in a little chicken broth.

Pretty sure a small bowl of chicken broth won't have many calories, and the packet of stock cubes doesn't mention the nutritional values. Googling it got me the value: 30 calories per cube. I only used a third, maybe a quarter.

Fantastic!

And this bowl of mushroom made me realize how much I miss meat. But I can't; I must lose weight. I'm already feeling lighter after three days of the mad jogging.

No jogging and ate more. Had a sweet potato in addition to the mushroom because I think I need to rest and let my heart recover. I don't think I'm suffering from malnutrition but I still feel a little breathless after the shopping trip.

Clearly appetite is back.





















Al Capone. Totally Al Capone hands down.

LOLed at the Al Dente. I must be back to normal now.

Wednesday 16 October 2013

Rant 1180 / Could Have Been Rant 1179

So I've finally discovered after all these years how to motivate myself to exercise - by switching off my fan.

I have no idea why it took me so long to notice this but it is just easier to get out and do something if I'm uncomfortably sweating.
























Best ending I've seen in a long while. Don't skip to the end! Watching the whole thing!




















This is the true ending of Mass Effect 3. Just a teaser though, not the actual video. Can't wait!




















Project Brazil is incomplete, and the single completed chapter was short.

True that it was massive though and there was actually way I could die just by saying the wrong things! Still, it was only one chapter while chapter 2 was incomplete, so it's merely interesting.

What really stands out is how massive the game was. Chapter 1 was basically a vault that was larger than any vault I've seen and chapter 2 starts outside the vault. I can't imagine how much work it took to get the whole thing done - for free!

This is a mod, yet it's practically a free incomplete DLC. More fun too because I like the theme, which was just a new Fallout 3.

Totally recommending it for anyone who likes Fallout 3 and Fallout: New Vegas. It's just seriously awesome.

Rant 1179 / My First Experience With The Notorious Friendzone

I am sad. Disappointed too, but mostly sad because I can feel the urge to cry a little.

That girl turned out to be a lesbian. She eventually agreed that she would go out with me as a friend after a few others urged her to do it, but I must ask: to what end?

False hope! Nothing but false hope, that would be!

Pointless. She's the kind who can't even stand the thought of penetrative sex! Why even bother?

It's 3.28am and I can't sleep. So this is what it feels like to be friendzoned.

No, this is worse than regular friendzone - it's like comparing losing contact with death. This has no chance of success at all, regardless of that tiny hope in me that she would try.

She likes me, but she is gay. Hoping like that is like hoping a gay man would turn straight. Not respectful and impractical.

Life goes on, I say. But what are my chances of ever finding a strong, smart, cute, independent, mature and yet single girl like that at my age?

Will I be single forever?

Still, it's hard to get rid of this matter from my head.

She even offered to bring me to a les club! As exciting as it sounds, I can't imagine how awkward it would be to be the only guy in a place filled with women who are mostly interested only in each other, with the few exceptions being the bisexuals.

I mean I don't mind trying because YOLO but I need to be mentally prepared first. How do I find out what it's like in a les club?

Google.

And then I catch myself still thinking about going out with her. Yet, maybe I should. Didn't some dating tips advised that we should go out with people just to know more people rather than just for the girls?

A lesbian turns out to be the first girl to ever be willing to go out with me. Cest la vie, I guess.

I almost asked if life can get any worse than this! Haha! Of course it can! I should be grateful I'm still doing well for my age in terms of health and wealth. My love life, on the other hand, is so dead I can probably find livelier deserts than this. On Mars.

It's now 3.49am.

I am hoping that sleep will help me get over her but it has proven elusive so far. What do people in my situation do?

3.56am. Perhaps I should give it up and switch on my PC. 

Just recalled someone saying she's too strong for me. I don't know about that because I like strong girls. I can handle being dominated occasionally and I am perfectly confident that I can handle them.

But a lesbian? No wonder she's not held tight by another guy. Guess it all makes sense.

Just wish it was something else. Heck, I was even prepared for a horribly broken family and even abusive parents, but never did I suspect it was homosexuality!

Sunday 13 October 2013

Rant 1178 / Project Brazil Looks Interesting

Since I'm going to Auckland I might as well try out the Sky Jump at the Sky Tower. Totally forgot about it until I chatted with this guy from that city on Game of War and he reminded me about it.

Over S$200 for a jump but I'll probably try. Pretty sure I can do it, but no guarantees. I don't think even closing my eyes will work but who cares? If I'm ever going to try skydiving, this is probably like a warm-up anyway.























Cancelled my pledge for the Peachy Printer. Just can't justify paying money for something that useless.




















So my cheapo jacket has arrived!



Turns out it's a blazer, but it's just semantics as far as I'm concerned given that I'm only going to wear this for a wedding.

Still, it was interesting to know the differences between a blazer, a sportcoat and a suit jacket.



For those who don't want to watch this video, this clothier explains that their identifying features are as such:

Blazer:
- solid colour
- no pattern
- metal buttons


Sportcoat:
- has pattern
- has colour
- may have different weights for different seasons

Suit jacket:
- like a sportcoat but with matching pants, ie can be worn as a sportcoat without the matching pants but this would just make the suit jacket fade faster than the pants

My jacket here has plastic buttons but without a pattern nor matching pants, this is closest to the definition of blazer.




The shirt I bought it with also came. Just a striped shirt for $20.

Both came with their original price tags, which was a nice touch because it reinforced the feeling that I got a great bargain here.



Yea it says sport coat but it's plain colour and has no pattern, so I still think it's a blazer.


























So I've just tried using a low-end tablet. Wanted to see if my bro's Acer Iconia would work with our printer because it's been undetectable on our network.

Anyway, now I know how awesome high-end tablets are. It's impossible not to appreciate the smoothness of everything in the iPad.

The worst thing is when the apps are updating, the tablet is practically unusable because even the keyboard lags like crazy.


























A little late but still awesome.

Some may say this is me thinking too much but that thing about the oven is kinda tasteless to me because it's so fucked up if you think about what the gas chambers really did. They put the old, the sick, the handicapped, the homosexuals, women, children and even babies in there and gassed them all.

There is one good thing though, relatively speaking, and that is the Nazis preferred carbon monoxide from engines as the gas, so they simply fell unconscious before dying. Easier to just collect the gas from sources that are readily available, like cars and tanks.

However, not all camps used that. In places like the Auschwitz, hydrogen cyanide was used. That was a lot more unpleasant, with violent convulsions and drooling taking place.

But I think the worst part was the anticipation.






















Went to the second hearing test, this time about hearing in a noisy environment, and I'm perfectly fine. Guess it's all in my mind.























Ordered about $250 of groceries from Giant's new online system because the prices were the same as the one near my home, except with bulk discounts for a few items.

To make the $7 delivery fee worth it, I ordered a lot of heavy stuff. Too much, in fact.

For example, I ordered the rice in bulk, 25kg of it instead of 10kg that I usually buy when I have to carry it myself. Canned mushroom, 2.8kg, or 7 cans I believe. And 8.5kg of laundry powder.

Also didn't forget canned food, like tuna and sardines, so I ordered about 20 cans of those, mainly the house brand tuna. My bro likes it in water and, fortunately, the house brand only has two options: water and soy bean oil.

Then there's pasta. Spirals (fusili) run out often by the time I go, so this time I ordered like 20 packets of pasta, including that and spaghetti.

All those were either bulk or have tiny promotional discounts, so in the end I got about 10% off in total, over $260 inclusive of delivery fee, minus $25 discount.

Now I won't be going to shop for groceries except for fresh food because there is enough canned tuna and rice in my home for us to survive for a week or two.

...

They have arrived! Interesting that they packed the frozen stuff in a styrofoam box with dry ice!

Not just bits of them but also one big giant bigger than my fist!

Played with one of the small pieces and used the rest as free ait-conditioning by placing them in front of my fan.

Turns out that when I leave dry ice alone, moisture in the air condenses on it and then freezes, forming snow all over it. Fun!

Also satisfied with the order despite a few issues. For one, they omitted the 2.8kg of canned mushroom. Probably unsufficient stock like the housebrand tuna-in-water.

Rounded the amount up to the next $10 and ended up tipping the delivery guy $8 even though he was late by 15 minutes. I think he earned it since I ordered 25kg of rice, 8.5kg of laundry powder and about 30 cans of fish, among other things.

The rice presents a slight problem though because it's not vacuum-sealed. I'll need to keep it in zip lock bags soon.




















Went to Daiso the other day at Plaza Singapure since I was there for both work and to look at the cloths at Spotlight. Couldn't find woollen fabrics at Spotlight, no idea why.

But anyway, at Daiso I forgot that I needed bonito flakes :(

Got everything I need to make Japanese omelette including mirin but no bonito to make the stock. Dang.

I'll have to go back, probably to another store. I'm done with PS for now.

Funny thing is that I haven't been shopping there for so long I almost forgot everything there was priced at $2! When I found the first thing I wanted to buy, I looked everywhere on it for the price tag before I remembered it was Daiso.

But zaru soba is awesome. S$0.40 for the noodles, probably around $0.20 for each tablespoon of the noodle sauce I use per bundle of noodles, optional seaweed maybe $0.50. Cheap, easy and delicious!

Good thing I have that sieve that hawkers use for cooking their noodles. It's so easy to rinse the soba under the tap with some ice cubes after cooking!























Getting better at DotA 2 again. Tried a few matches with real people and didn't do too badly. Too many angry people though, so I don't really like it anymore. Maybe I should just stick with bots. People there are more relaxed.

Maybe I should try LoL again.




















FNV seems to have a new fantastic mod, Project Brazil. Going to try out soon.