14 March 2015
I feel so relaxed now. My tension has indeed been exterminated. Exterminated!
And she almost left me again because cutting contact temporarily was the same as leaving her. Did my best to persuade her to stay and it finally worked after a while. It's just crazy how bad she wanted to leave and also stay at the same time.
Now that she's back, I need to focus on making her stay. She just fears the possibility of me leaving so much that she tries to leave me pre-emptively all the time.
18 Mar 2015
21 Mar 2015
Finally checked out her Instagram last night and it was like a photographic version of a blog.
Her older photos and their captions gave me a better idea of her life before me, and they taught me that to find the right partner, you don't have to be a great guy; you just have to be a great fit.
Similar to the older girl I had accidentally developed feelings for, she's dated far better guys than me, yet none of her relationships endured. I'm sure this is going to last, so the conclusion that can be drawn from here is that suitability is just a bigger factor than eligibility.
Her Instagram, in turn, led me to her blog which she updates as often as I do - when she's bored. The difference in our styles is clear; while I describe the events with minimal emotions, she's all about how she feels. This is quite expected given that girls are generally more emotional than guys, but I just haven't really seen this in terms of writing styles.
As for her, I think I've learnt enough of her to avoid most of the mines in the minefield. I'm glad that she's stayed long enough for me to find out and hopefully, I can make her happy more often than I unintentionally piss her off.
Now that we're where we are and I've seen her blog and Instagram, it is only right that she sees mine too. She's going to be the first person whom I'm allowing to see this side of me since my secondary friends who were introduced to this blog soon after I started it.
That pretty much makes it about eight years since I told anyone about this, given the fact that 2015 is the 9th year of this blog's life.
It's crazy, isn't it? On the 10th of January 2017, I'm going to celebrate the 10th birthday of this blog. That's not so far away now, and the feeling is just like the time when the blog reached its 1000th rant. I've never thought the blog would last this long, but then again, I can't imagine letting this blog die. There are always details of my life that I'd like to record down that would bore my friends to death, so this blog shall serve that purpose even though blogs are now pretty much obsolete for the rest of the world. Everyone just does the same through Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.
Except for me, because I'm a hipster like that.
Saturday 21 March 2015
Friday 13 March 2015
Rant 1211 / What Can I Do With A Columbia Sportswear Hong Kong Membership?
11 Mar 2015
This relationship is so tough. Life is full of problems, but she is one heck of a sea urchin. All spiky on the outside but totally delicious once I get pass the spines.
Her issue is her major insecurity. Nothing else. Her quick temper is not an issue without her insecurity.
She's so insecure, she would push me away just because there's a risk of losing me, even when I am completely fine with the problem that would lead to that risk.
Right now, she likes someone else too because I had let her dump me for a week while I was overseas for almost three weeks. She wanted my attention for hours everyday and that was impossible because I was overseas. I couldn't possibly chat with her all day; that would beat the point of being in another country.
But try I did, and after 3 straight nights of 4 hours of sleep, I decided to call for a break, believing I would make up for it when I return. But her messages got more and more uncaring as she got increasingly upset, till she said she was dumping me. So I said ok.
That was a week before I returned.
During this week, while trying to get over me, she went out with several guys and developed feelings for one.
Yet when I asked her to return to me the day I flew back, she did without hesitation.
Now, however, she feels it is unfair to me that she still has feelings for him, and wants to push me away because I love her so much but I'm not the only man in her heart.
But I don't care! She returned to me before she even asked why I came back to her, and that was enough proof of her feelings. She didn't ask why, she didn't play hard to get; she simply said she was going to be free the day I arrived.
Why would I feel that it's unfair? Clearly the other man didn't stand a chance!
And just now, while trying to push me away with her words, she always stayed in my arms and in my hand, with minimal pulling away.
I just wish she wouldn't do that. We could have spend the time and brain power on solving the actual issues. I wish she would hold on to me as hard as I am holding on to her.
Ok fine, she just agreed to hold on to me. Glad my coaxing worked.
The last 3 weeks, I went to Hong Kong, Shanghai, Nanjing and Sapporo.
Hong Kong was uneventful. Went for dinner with a few relatives but we didn't really have much to talk about. My cousins with my youngest aunt were cute and the elder brother really liked me somehow.
In Shanghai, the cousin of the wife of one of my cousin brought me around for the entire stay because she was also clearing her 2014 leave and extending her Chinese New Year holiday with them. Brought me around in Shanghai but quickly ran out of things to do, so we went to Wu Xi for a day, then Nanjing. The high-speed rail was awesome because I can go to any major city in China within hours, and I don't even have to check in early the way flights do.
Anyway it was nice and her mum even let us in to the top floor of the Bank of China building in Shanghai for the view.
In Japan, however, I learnt to ski. Frickin awesome, having a private instructor.
I arrived on the 28th of Feb and spent a day in Sapporo with a friend, where I had the best roe right in the airport. Seriously, no fishy taste at all! Never tasted such fresh roe in Singapore before! No wonder the Japanese can just have them with rice. Without the fishy taste, roe is just epic.
For dinner, we went to a random place because the nicest looking restaurant was full. This random place turned out to specialise in grilled ox tongue, and they turned out to be delicious! On a related note, one ski instructor informed us later that ox tongue was the specialty of Sendai. My friend praised the chef who was grilling it in front of us (we were at the counter seats) and despite the difficulty in communication (we relied on pictures in the menu and the few English words in the waitress's vocabulary), we ended up taking a photo together and they gave us two handful of sweets before we left. Oh, and the chef and his brother (I think the other chef in charge of all dishes other than ox tongue was his bro) even sent us out all the way to the lift, partly since we were their last customers.
After that, we stayed in a hotel in Pole Street, a rather touristy place that had everything. Nice, but too... un-local.
The next day, we returned to the hotel after failing to find breakfast, and went to the airport for it instead. There, we went to a restaurant that I later realized specialised in sushi, and had another bowl of sashimi and roe on rice for breakfast, before meeting the rest of the ski group.
The van they booked brought us to the house in Niseko that was called a hotel, but I felt it was more of a serviced apartment. Miyuki 1 was a semi-detached house and had the amenities of a hotel, and the housekeeping came every alternate day. After we were settled in, we went to Rhythm nearby to rent our gear, and I had to buy a few more as well.
Rental was about the skis and poles, the helmet and the ski boots; and on top of that I had to buy ski goggles, a neck warmer with a patch designed for the nose and mouth, and this rubber sole to fit under my jogging shoes to improve traction in the snow.
Skiing was not easy, and although we had hired the instructors for two hours on the first day, I called it a day after 90 minutes. Skiing uses muscles that we normal don't use a lot in the legs, and I was not in a particularly good shape in the first place.
The good thing was that I started out with a good stance for balance, probably from my experience in both rugby and basketball a long time ago, so I only started falling on the second day when we tried the tougher slopes. The first day, despite the short time we spent, was actually pretty good, according to the instructors, because I was ready for the slopes within 15 minutes, and we tried the slopes twice within the 90 minutes. I think the powder snow in Niseko really helped a lot because it was easier to ski on than ice, and the privacy of the rather empty ski resort we went to was awesome for us beginners. Seriously, it was so empty, everyone who went said it felt like a private ski resort, while the gentle slopes there were great for beginners.
Oh btw, dry snow is so awesome to ski on. Dry snow, as far as I can tell, refers to snow in dry air that simply falls apart when you try to make snowballs. Wet snow can easily form snowballs and even ice when you press it hard.
Second day, another two hours, but I decided the ski boots were not comfortable at all. The toe area was too tight and it actually gave me an abrasion on my right ankle and a bruise on the left. We changed it on the third day, but Rhythm didn't have any regular boots that were any better so they gave me a premium pair instead. That was the final option and although it didn't solve the ankle discomfort, my toes felt really comfortable in them. In the end, I got that for no extra charge.
As for the skiing, we actually used up all 3 single trip ski passes on that day.
Then we started having crepes at this house called Odin near our house for tea, since we usually skip lunch. That place had the most amazing crepes and soups!
The fourth day was the last day we spent at the empty ski resort. I had initially wanted to ski alone by myself to try to get the hang of relaxing while skiing, like trying to cycle without supervision for the first time, but the night before, the group decided to go to Risutsu together on the fifth day, so I needed as much training as I could, and my friend lent me her instructor while she skiied alone. She had learnt to ski last year so I needed the training more.
The day didn't go so well, probably because we didn't have the synergy that I had developed with the first instructor, but it was better than nothing.
Risutsu turned out to be fantastic. It had a wide range of slopes for everyone and the mountains had a great view that day. My friend had a problem with her elbow so she didn't go, but I went my instructor anyway together with another newbie in the group who had been sticking to her snowboarding boyfriend during the last several days. He decided to finally have some fun with the rest of the group who were mainly expert snowboarders and they were planning to try the unsupervised slopes that was beyond the highest double black rating.
So the three of us started at the east mountain where there was a beginner slope and a beginner slope for jumps. Of course we didn't jump; I could barely lift my legs while skiing. Then we tried the west mountain where there was a green (ie beginner) slope with a little bit of red (intermediate) between the start and the gondola exit, and we got passed it without falling.
Now I guess I'm intermediate, but that was a very short and easy red, so I still see myself as a beginner. Moreover, I was still going down the slopes by zigzagging through stopping with each leg alternately instead of smoothly straight down like the other people were.
Returning to Singapore gave me two major issues though. First, the flight reservation done with Edreams for flights on Air China was changed while I was out of Singapore. The new flights turned out to have absolutely no transit time - the arrival time of the first flight coincided perfectly with the departure time of the connecting flight. What the heck?
So I tried calling Edreams Japan from Niseko, and there was an automated message that probably meant it was not working or something. Email didn't work because they just told me to call, meaning roaming was necessary.
It's not funny calling on roaming and get put on hold, but the call lasted for an hour and it wasn't solved. Yes, an hour of roaming call, my phone bill is going to be insane.
In the end, I gave up and booked a new one-way flight to HKG instead since I could still use the flight from HKG to SIN. But this is absolutely the last time I'm booking a flight through a third-party website. I'll gladly pay the difference, thank you very much.
Second, the plan was to pack light, ie one backpack, and in order to avoid checking in any luggage, and I'll stay overnight in HKIA as I'd arrive in HKG at night and the following flight to SIN would be in the morning with another airline. I'd go sleep in one of the lounges using my Priority Pass and then go through immigration only in the morning and check in for my final flight home.
It was only when I reached HKIA that I realized there was one obstacle - entry to the departure area is only allowed with a boarding pass. Unlike Changi, they're separate in HKIA, so I had no choice but to get out to the public area and sleep on the benches. After walking around for a few hours while chatting on Whatsapp using the airport's free wifi, the only alternative I found was the pay-per-use lounge that my Priority Pass doesn't give me free access to.
So I found some nicer seats and slept for three hours at around 3am, and woke up at around 6am as it got busier. Walked around and found some breakfast at 7 and chilled there till it was time to check in.
There, I discovered something important - Monday morning flights are empty. That's a very useful piece of information given my flexible hours.
13 March 2015
So we quarrelled again yesterday just before my phone died.
Leaving my phone off, I decided I needed a day of peace. So I've done absolutely nothing today.
We need to talk. She's just like another girl, saying that I question everything. Well, what's wrong with clarifying things I don't understand? And I don't understand a lot of things.
And I wonder what she has been lying about. See, I have this impression that she's honest about the things she say when she's angry, except they're phrased to maximise the pain they inflict. She claims she doesn't mean any of it, but I don't believe it; I have done that before because I have been angry before.
So when she said she's "been lying about countless things", I know for a fact she has been lying in regards to at least a few issues. And as for jokes, seriously, be careful what you joke about.
I still love her, but now I don't know if she really loves me or the security I provide. When a person does something for a person he/she loves, is he/she supposed to expect a reward? I don't, but she seems to. Can it be due to her lack of maturity?
Tomorrow maybe I'll turn on my phone.
Still loving these
The best part starts at 1:47
This relationship is so tough. Life is full of problems, but she is one heck of a sea urchin. All spiky on the outside but totally delicious once I get pass the spines.
Her issue is her major insecurity. Nothing else. Her quick temper is not an issue without her insecurity.
She's so insecure, she would push me away just because there's a risk of losing me, even when I am completely fine with the problem that would lead to that risk.
Right now, she likes someone else too because I had let her dump me for a week while I was overseas for almost three weeks. She wanted my attention for hours everyday and that was impossible because I was overseas. I couldn't possibly chat with her all day; that would beat the point of being in another country.
But try I did, and after 3 straight nights of 4 hours of sleep, I decided to call for a break, believing I would make up for it when I return. But her messages got more and more uncaring as she got increasingly upset, till she said she was dumping me. So I said ok.
That was a week before I returned.
During this week, while trying to get over me, she went out with several guys and developed feelings for one.
Yet when I asked her to return to me the day I flew back, she did without hesitation.
Now, however, she feels it is unfair to me that she still has feelings for him, and wants to push me away because I love her so much but I'm not the only man in her heart.
But I don't care! She returned to me before she even asked why I came back to her, and that was enough proof of her feelings. She didn't ask why, she didn't play hard to get; she simply said she was going to be free the day I arrived.
Why would I feel that it's unfair? Clearly the other man didn't stand a chance!
And just now, while trying to push me away with her words, she always stayed in my arms and in my hand, with minimal pulling away.
I just wish she wouldn't do that. We could have spend the time and brain power on solving the actual issues. I wish she would hold on to me as hard as I am holding on to her.
Ok fine, she just agreed to hold on to me. Glad my coaxing worked.
The last 3 weeks, I went to Hong Kong, Shanghai, Nanjing and Sapporo.
Hong Kong was uneventful. Went for dinner with a few relatives but we didn't really have much to talk about. My cousins with my youngest aunt were cute and the elder brother really liked me somehow.
In Shanghai, the cousin of the wife of one of my cousin brought me around for the entire stay because she was also clearing her 2014 leave and extending her Chinese New Year holiday with them. Brought me around in Shanghai but quickly ran out of things to do, so we went to Wu Xi for a day, then Nanjing. The high-speed rail was awesome because I can go to any major city in China within hours, and I don't even have to check in early the way flights do.
Anyway it was nice and her mum even let us in to the top floor of the Bank of China building in Shanghai for the view.
In Japan, however, I learnt to ski. Frickin awesome, having a private instructor.
I arrived on the 28th of Feb and spent a day in Sapporo with a friend, where I had the best roe right in the airport. Seriously, no fishy taste at all! Never tasted such fresh roe in Singapore before! No wonder the Japanese can just have them with rice. Without the fishy taste, roe is just epic.
For dinner, we went to a random place because the nicest looking restaurant was full. This random place turned out to specialise in grilled ox tongue, and they turned out to be delicious! On a related note, one ski instructor informed us later that ox tongue was the specialty of Sendai. My friend praised the chef who was grilling it in front of us (we were at the counter seats) and despite the difficulty in communication (we relied on pictures in the menu and the few English words in the waitress's vocabulary), we ended up taking a photo together and they gave us two handful of sweets before we left. Oh, and the chef and his brother (I think the other chef in charge of all dishes other than ox tongue was his bro) even sent us out all the way to the lift, partly since we were their last customers.
After that, we stayed in a hotel in Pole Street, a rather touristy place that had everything. Nice, but too... un-local.
The next day, we returned to the hotel after failing to find breakfast, and went to the airport for it instead. There, we went to a restaurant that I later realized specialised in sushi, and had another bowl of sashimi and roe on rice for breakfast, before meeting the rest of the ski group.
The van they booked brought us to the house in Niseko that was called a hotel, but I felt it was more of a serviced apartment. Miyuki 1 was a semi-detached house and had the amenities of a hotel, and the housekeeping came every alternate day. After we were settled in, we went to Rhythm nearby to rent our gear, and I had to buy a few more as well.
Rental was about the skis and poles, the helmet and the ski boots; and on top of that I had to buy ski goggles, a neck warmer with a patch designed for the nose and mouth, and this rubber sole to fit under my jogging shoes to improve traction in the snow.
Skiing was not easy, and although we had hired the instructors for two hours on the first day, I called it a day after 90 minutes. Skiing uses muscles that we normal don't use a lot in the legs, and I was not in a particularly good shape in the first place.
The good thing was that I started out with a good stance for balance, probably from my experience in both rugby and basketball a long time ago, so I only started falling on the second day when we tried the tougher slopes. The first day, despite the short time we spent, was actually pretty good, according to the instructors, because I was ready for the slopes within 15 minutes, and we tried the slopes twice within the 90 minutes. I think the powder snow in Niseko really helped a lot because it was easier to ski on than ice, and the privacy of the rather empty ski resort we went to was awesome for us beginners. Seriously, it was so empty, everyone who went said it felt like a private ski resort, while the gentle slopes there were great for beginners.
Oh btw, dry snow is so awesome to ski on. Dry snow, as far as I can tell, refers to snow in dry air that simply falls apart when you try to make snowballs. Wet snow can easily form snowballs and even ice when you press it hard.
Second day, another two hours, but I decided the ski boots were not comfortable at all. The toe area was too tight and it actually gave me an abrasion on my right ankle and a bruise on the left. We changed it on the third day, but Rhythm didn't have any regular boots that were any better so they gave me a premium pair instead. That was the final option and although it didn't solve the ankle discomfort, my toes felt really comfortable in them. In the end, I got that for no extra charge.
As for the skiing, we actually used up all 3 single trip ski passes on that day.
Then we started having crepes at this house called Odin near our house for tea, since we usually skip lunch. That place had the most amazing crepes and soups!
The fourth day was the last day we spent at the empty ski resort. I had initially wanted to ski alone by myself to try to get the hang of relaxing while skiing, like trying to cycle without supervision for the first time, but the night before, the group decided to go to Risutsu together on the fifth day, so I needed as much training as I could, and my friend lent me her instructor while she skiied alone. She had learnt to ski last year so I needed the training more.
The day didn't go so well, probably because we didn't have the synergy that I had developed with the first instructor, but it was better than nothing.
Risutsu turned out to be fantastic. It had a wide range of slopes for everyone and the mountains had a great view that day. My friend had a problem with her elbow so she didn't go, but I went my instructor anyway together with another newbie in the group who had been sticking to her snowboarding boyfriend during the last several days. He decided to finally have some fun with the rest of the group who were mainly expert snowboarders and they were planning to try the unsupervised slopes that was beyond the highest double black rating.
So the three of us started at the east mountain where there was a beginner slope and a beginner slope for jumps. Of course we didn't jump; I could barely lift my legs while skiing. Then we tried the west mountain where there was a green (ie beginner) slope with a little bit of red (intermediate) between the start and the gondola exit, and we got passed it without falling.
Now I guess I'm intermediate, but that was a very short and easy red, so I still see myself as a beginner. Moreover, I was still going down the slopes by zigzagging through stopping with each leg alternately instead of smoothly straight down like the other people were.
Returning to Singapore gave me two major issues though. First, the flight reservation done with Edreams for flights on Air China was changed while I was out of Singapore. The new flights turned out to have absolutely no transit time - the arrival time of the first flight coincided perfectly with the departure time of the connecting flight. What the heck?
So I tried calling Edreams Japan from Niseko, and there was an automated message that probably meant it was not working or something. Email didn't work because they just told me to call, meaning roaming was necessary.
It's not funny calling on roaming and get put on hold, but the call lasted for an hour and it wasn't solved. Yes, an hour of roaming call, my phone bill is going to be insane.
In the end, I gave up and booked a new one-way flight to HKG instead since I could still use the flight from HKG to SIN. But this is absolutely the last time I'm booking a flight through a third-party website. I'll gladly pay the difference, thank you very much.
Second, the plan was to pack light, ie one backpack, and in order to avoid checking in any luggage, and I'll stay overnight in HKIA as I'd arrive in HKG at night and the following flight to SIN would be in the morning with another airline. I'd go sleep in one of the lounges using my Priority Pass and then go through immigration only in the morning and check in for my final flight home.
It was only when I reached HKIA that I realized there was one obstacle - entry to the departure area is only allowed with a boarding pass. Unlike Changi, they're separate in HKIA, so I had no choice but to get out to the public area and sleep on the benches. After walking around for a few hours while chatting on Whatsapp using the airport's free wifi, the only alternative I found was the pay-per-use lounge that my Priority Pass doesn't give me free access to.
So I found some nicer seats and slept for three hours at around 3am, and woke up at around 6am as it got busier. Walked around and found some breakfast at 7 and chilled there till it was time to check in.
There, I discovered something important - Monday morning flights are empty. That's a very useful piece of information given my flexible hours.
13 March 2015
So we quarrelled again yesterday just before my phone died.
Leaving my phone off, I decided I needed a day of peace. So I've done absolutely nothing today.
We need to talk. She's just like another girl, saying that I question everything. Well, what's wrong with clarifying things I don't understand? And I don't understand a lot of things.
And I wonder what she has been lying about. See, I have this impression that she's honest about the things she say when she's angry, except they're phrased to maximise the pain they inflict. She claims she doesn't mean any of it, but I don't believe it; I have done that before because I have been angry before.
So when she said she's "been lying about countless things", I know for a fact she has been lying in regards to at least a few issues. And as for jokes, seriously, be careful what you joke about.
I still love her, but now I don't know if she really loves me or the security I provide. When a person does something for a person he/she loves, is he/she supposed to expect a reward? I don't, but she seems to. Can it be due to her lack of maturity?
Tomorrow maybe I'll turn on my phone.
Still loving these
The best part starts at 1:47
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